school collection 17
If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas?
His wife!
What's the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
You can't keep a good man down!
Who designed Noah's ark?
An ark-itect!
When did Caesar reign?
I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him?
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine
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His wife!
What's the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
You can't keep a good man down!
Who designed Noah's ark?
An ark-itect!
When did Caesar reign?
I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him?
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine
school collection 25
Little Monster: I hate my teacher.
Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!
"What's the matter with your dinner?"
"Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I've eaten!"
Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday.
Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else!
A math joke
Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?
Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!
Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age?
Pupil: The sausage!
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Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!
"What's the matter with your dinner?"
"Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I've eaten!"
Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday.
Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else!
A math joke
Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?
Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!
Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age?
Pupil: The sausage!
school collection 26
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
My teacher reminds me of history
She's always repeating herself!
A math joke
Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems?
Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!
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Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
My teacher reminds me of history
She's always repeating herself!
A math joke
Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems?
Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!
school collection 08
A math joke
If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!
A history joke
What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate?
The registration of the car that ran him over!
Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!
A history joke
Who succeeded the first President of the USA?
The second one!
A math joke
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?
Class: At once!
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If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!
A history joke
What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate?
The registration of the car that ran him over!
Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!
A history joke
Who succeeded the first President of the USA?
The second one!
A math joke
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?
Class: At once!
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