school collection 09
A history joke
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?
On their feet!
You mean you need to sleep at home too!
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
A history joke
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted Mark Antony!
Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first time!
Teacher: Is Lapland heavily populated?
Class: No, there are not many Lapps to the mile!
Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Lapland!
Pupil: A reindeer
Teacher: Good, now name another.
Class: Another reindeer!
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Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?
On their feet!
You mean you need to sleep at home too!
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
A history joke
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted Mark Antony!
Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first time!
Teacher: Is Lapland heavily populated?
Class: No, there are not many Lapps to the mile!
Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Lapland!
Pupil: A reindeer
Teacher: Good, now name another.
Class: Another reindeer!
school collection 13
Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?
Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!
A history joke
Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich?
Because the poor didn't have anything worth stealing!
Teacher: You're new here aren't you, what's your name?
Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith
A history joke
Why did Eve want to move to New York?
She fell for the Big Apple!
Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!
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Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!
A history joke
Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich?
Because the poor didn't have anything worth stealing!
Teacher: You're new here aren't you, what's your name?
Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith
A history joke
Why did Eve want to move to New York?
She fell for the Big Apple!
Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!
school collection 14
Father: I hear you skipped school to play football
Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!
Teacher: When was Rome built?
Pupil: At night.
Teacher: Why did you say that?
Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!
What did the Sheriff of Nottingham say when Robin fired at him?
That was an arrow escape!
A history joke
What did the ghost of Queen Elizabeth say as it floated into the terrified woman's bedroom?
Don't worry, I'm just passing through!
Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were.
Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!
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Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!
Teacher: When was Rome built?
Pupil: At night.
Teacher: Why did you say that?
Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!
What did the Sheriff of Nottingham say when Robin fired at him?
That was an arrow escape!
A history joke
What did the ghost of Queen Elizabeth say as it floated into the terrified woman's bedroom?
Don't worry, I'm just passing through!
Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were.
Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!
school collection 20
Teacher: Where is the English Channel?
Pupil: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up
Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?
Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!
Teacher: Didn't you hear me call you?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!
What tables don't you have to learn?
Dinner tables!
Why was the headmaster worried?
Because there were too many rulers in school!
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Pupil: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up
Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?
Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!
Teacher: Didn't you hear me call you?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!
What tables don't you have to learn?
Dinner tables!
Why was the headmaster worried?
Because there were too many rulers in school!
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