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why the bad plays?
 
 
A true story, according to the LA Times.....

Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?"

Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"

normal car is better
 
 
Reasons why a normal Car is a far superior vehicle than a F1 Car

"Hundreds of people and tens of millions of dollars go into building an F1 car, but a normal car is a far superior vehicle. You wonder what goes through those guys' minds when design their cars. THEY'RE ALL WRONG!!!!"

No door... I mean, people have to climb in. Actually, ANYBODY can climb in and steal it. Pffft!

No roof... The people who drive these things are left open to the elements. Like, even convertible cars have something you can pull over your head.

No radio (AM and FM), no cassette nor CD player... how boring it must be to drive in those things for close to two hours without having anything to listen to.

No heating... Being left open to the elements, the drivers' toes must become very cold after a while.

No coffee cup holder... Those guys can spill all the hot (and dangerous stuff) over themselves. What with them steering with one hand and trying to drink with the other.

No ashtrays and electric lighter...

No windshield wipers... and they expect them to race in the rain?

No windshields... Well, I guess no. 7 and 8 go hand in hand.

No turn signals... How can they indicate they intend to pass?

No headlights... No wonder they only drive in the day time.

Only one brake light...

Only one seat... How can a guy go necking with his girlfriend at the local drive in?

No anchor for a baby seat... And they are trying to make us believe that safety comes first?

No trunk...

No adjustable seats... (mine goes back and forth, and can be tilted as well)

High fuel consumption...

Engines that don't last...

Tyres that just wear off in no time flat...

Where's the bloody ignition? I guess it's back to the old Model T days when the cars had to be crank started.

No sun visor... Must be fun driving those things with the sun in the eyes. Talk about accidents waiting to happen.

do at a bowling alley
 
 
Things to do at a Bowling Alley

Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.

When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.

Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.

Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.

Wear Golf Shoes.

Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.

Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.

Play bocci with extra lane balls

Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again

Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.

Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting.....fish.

Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.

Hide behind the pins. Stick your head up, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.

Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team of sweepers.

Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted.

Make your prescence known by arranging pentagrams out of candles on every lane except yours.

Root for the other team- Bring Banners.

Make fun of your team- Bring Lettuce.

Tell the rival team captain that you just met his "little girl" walk away mumbling "how bad things happen"

Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments

Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs scream STEEEEEEEEERIKE

Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it.

Rent all the lanes, don't bowl

Rent all the shoes, eat them

Blatenly Underscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating

When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball, run home.

If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs, blame platetechtonics

Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone

Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.

SuperGlue Police Whistles to the hand-dryers...leave town

Walk around asking people why they are here, do this the whole night

Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make an anoucement, expond on the sins of bowling

Name your ball something like "KILLER", Openly boast to everyone how great you are, bowl terribly. Do this all night

Sit in your lane and heckle others with a BullHorn.

Bring a dartgun...Be inventive.

Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref.

Run around sprinkling "MAGIC FAIRY DUST" on everyone's balls. Tar works nice.

Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night, Dont even have a Entrance fee. Advertise it using Every Mass Media known to man, make the 3rd Prize: $10,000 and a Porshce 2nd Prize: $5,000 and a trip to Europe 1st Prize: A coffee mug Then sit back a watch the fights..... leave or Cancel the whole thing.

Hand out Pamphlets on Patetechtonics.

question answer 04
 
 
What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?
Sorry, it was a freak hic!

Why are football grounds odd?
Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!

What do you get if you drop a piano on a team's defence?
A flat back four!

Why did the goal post get angry?
Because the bar was rattled!

What is the bank manager's favourite type of football?
Fiver side!

What part of a football ground is never the same?
The changing rooms!

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?
Bring on their subs!

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