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first computer in biblical times
 
 
Who invented the first computer in Biblical Times?

Eve -- she had an Apple in one hand and a Wang in the other!

helisoft
 
 
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

little voice
 
 
A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stomped her foot and went back inside. The man thought 'how weird.'

A few minutes passed and sure enough, the blonde came out of her house again, checked her mail box, stamped her foot and went back inside. The man stopped mowing and checked her mailbox to see what was so wrong with it. After seeing nothing, he went back to mowing just shrugging his shoulders.

As soon as he heard her coming out again, he shut off his mowing machine and went up to her. 'What in the world are you doing, coming out here every five minutes?'

The blonde looked up at the man and said, 'Well, you see, there's this little voice in my house that keeps on saying, 'You've got mail,' but when I come out here to check, I don't have any.'

moron computer operator
 
 
How can you tell if you have a moron computer operator working for you?

Answer: Find the computer operator using white out on the monitor trying to erase the mistakes.


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