husbands' performance
Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as lovers. The first woman says 'My husband works as a marriage counsellor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that.'
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The second woman says, 'My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that.'
The third woman just shakes her head and says, 'My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it.'
writing's powerful message
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.
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When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
mike tyson's computer
Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson Computer?
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It has two bytes and no memory.
using computers for a gratuitous screw reference
The difference between computers and people?
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With computers, software goes into hardware.
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