So God takes Bill Gates down to Hell, where there are beautiful, nubile bikini models, perfect weather, free drinks, and eternal happiness. "That doesn't seem so bad," says Gates. "Let's see Heaven now." God and Gates go to Heaven, which seems to be just a bunch of old, crusty angels flying around and sitting on a few clouds. "I've made my decision," says Gates. "I choose Hell."
Six months later, God goes down to Hell to check on him and finds him hanging above a pit of fire with wild harpies tearing out his intestines. "What happened to all the bikini models and the sun and the fun?" Gates screams. "Oh, that," says God. "That was just the demo."
She replied, "I'm sorry monsieur, I would love to help you, but oh la la, I don't do Windows!"
(o)(o) perfect breasts
( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts
(*)(*) high nipple breasts
(@)(@) big nipple breasts
o o a cups
{ O }{ O } d cups
(oYo) wonder bra breasts
( ^ )( ^ ) cold breasts
(o)(O) lopsided breasts
(Q)(O) pierced breasts
(p)(p) breasts with tassled pasties
\o/\o/ Grandma's breasts
( - )( - ) flat against the shower door breasts
|oo| android breasts
Costello: Hey, Abbott!
Abbot: Yes, Lou?Costello: I just got my first computer.
Abbot: That's great Lou. What did you get?Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.
Abbot: That's terrific, Lou.Costello: But I don't know what any of it means!!
Abbot: You will in time.Costello: That's exactly why I am here to see you.
Abbot: Oh?Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert.
Abbot: Well, I don't know-Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me.
Abbot: Really?Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbot: O.K. Lou. What do want to know?Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.
Abbot: That's true.Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?
Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then-
Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
Abbot: I know, you press the Start button-Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Abbot: I did.Costello: When?
Abbot: When I told you to press the Start button.Costello: Why should I press the Start button?
Abbot: To shut off the computer.Costello: I press Start to stop.
Abbot: Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.Costello: I knew it! So what do I press.
Abbot: StartCostello: Start what?
Abbot: Start button.Costello: Start button to do what?
Abbot: Shut down.Costello: You don't have to get rude!
Abbot: No, no, no! That's not what I meant.Costello: Then say what you mean.
Abbot: To shut down the computer, press-Costello: Don't say, "Start!"
Abbot: Then what do you want me to say?Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Abbot: But that's what you do.Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
Abbot: Don't be ridiculous.Costello: I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversation.
Abbot: What are you talking about?Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.
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