business jokes jokes

For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment.

They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population.

Now let's just hope that the unemployment rate doesn't change.

Any minimum criteria set will be the maximum value used.

Any producing entity is the last to use its own product.

Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Any smoothly functioning technology is indistinguishable from a "rigged" demo.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday.

Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Any theory can be made to fit any facts by means of appropriate additional assumptions.

Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.

Any time you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults is proportional to the number of viewers.

Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center.

The "think positive" leader tends to listen to his subordinate's premonitions only during the postmortems.

The amount of flak received on any subject is inversely proportional to the subject's true value.

The average man's judgement is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.

The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.

The best laid plans of mice and men are all filed away somewhere.

The best laid plans of mice and men are usually equal.

The best photos are generally attempted through the lens cap.

The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.

The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.

The best way to realise your dreams is to wake up.

There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrnog.

There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrrong.

There is no limit to how bad things can get.

There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don't care who gets the credit.

There is no problem a good miracle can't solve.

There is no problem so large that it cannot be solved by the application of a correctly chosen thermonuclear device.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

There is no such thing as a "dirty capitalist", only a capitalist.

There is no such thing as instant experience.

There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.