business one-liners 121
Meade's Maxim: Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else.
Mencken's Law: There is always an easy answer to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
Muir's Law: When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
Newlan's Truism: An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
Ninety-Ninety Rule Of Project Schedules: The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.
Nolan's Placebo: An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
Nowlan's Theory: He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from the next freeway exit.
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Mencken's Law: There is always an easy answer to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
Muir's Law: When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
Newlan's Truism: An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
Ninety-Ninety Rule Of Project Schedules: The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.
Nolan's Placebo: An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
Nowlan's Theory: He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from the next freeway exit.
business one-liners 114
Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly
Goldenstern's Rules: 1. Always hire a rich attorney. 2. Never buy from a rich salesman.
Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
Gordian Maxim: If a string has one end, it has another.
Gordon's First Law: If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.
Gordon's Object Lifespan Theorem: No matter the amount of care given the purchased object, it will fuse/explode/disassemble within three days of warranty expiration.
Gordon's Warranty Law: All warranty clauses expires upon bill payment.
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Goldenstern's Rules: 1. Always hire a rich attorney. 2. Never buy from a rich salesman.
Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
Gordian Maxim: If a string has one end, it has another.
Gordon's First Law: If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.
Gordon's Object Lifespan Theorem: No matter the amount of care given the purchased object, it will fuse/explode/disassemble within three days of warranty expiration.
Gordon's Warranty Law: All warranty clauses expires upon bill payment.
simplified 1040 forms
We've just been informed that the Internal Revenue Service has simplified its 1040 forms for next year in the spirit of becoming a "kinder, gentler" IRS. It goes like this:
(A) How much did you make last year?______
(B) How much do you have left?___________
(C) Send in amount on line B.
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(A) How much did you make last year?______
(B) How much do you have left?___________
(C) Send in amount on line B.
copy machine handout
In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and handed them this sheet.
The copier is out of order!
Yes, we have called the service man.
Yes, he will be in today.
No, we cannot fix it.
No, we do not know how long it will take.
No, we do not know what caused it.
No, we do not know who broke it.
Yes, we are keeping it.
No, we do not know what you are going to do now.
Thank You
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The copier is out of order!
Yes, we have called the service man.
Yes, he will be in today.
No, we cannot fix it.
No, we do not know how long it will take.
No, we do not know what caused it.
No, we do not know who broke it.
Yes, we are keeping it.
No, we do not know what you are going to do now.
Thank You
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