business jokes jokes

A stagnant science is at a standstill.

A theory is better than its explanation.

A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.

A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.

Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.

Ability is like a check, it has no value unless it is cashed.

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date.) - Stafford Beer

According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.

According to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.

Adding manpower to a late software product makes it later.

By the time you can make ends meet, they've moved the ends.

By the time you have the right answers, no one is asking you questions.

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost

Cant produces countercant.

Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Chipped dishes never break.

Clearly stated instructions will consistently produce multiple interpretations.

Cocaine is nature's way of telling you you have too much money.

Commit suicide. A hundred thousand lemmings cannot be wrong.

Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden

Beware the man of one book. - St. Thomas Aquinas

Beware the wrath of a patient person.

Blessed are those who go around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels.

Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall not be disappointed.

Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it for he shall enjoy living.

Boldly going forward because we cannot find reverse.

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

Build something foolproof and every fool will use it.

Bureaucracy: a method for transforming energy into solid waste.

Given a bad start, trouble will increase at an exponential rate.

Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Go where the money is.

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

Good listeners are not only popular everywhere, but after awhile they know something.

Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

Great minds run in great circles.

Half of being smart is knowing what you are dumb at.

Happiness is merely the remission of pain.