business one-liners 31
Real programmers don't grumble about the disadvantages of Fortran when they don't know any other language.
Real programmers don't notch their desks for each completed service request.
Real programmers don't number paragraph names consecutively.
Real programmers print only clean compiles.
Real programmers write readable code, which they then self-righteously refuse to explain.
Remember the golden rule: Those that have the gold make the rules.
Remember the tea kettle; though up to its neck in hot water, it continues to sing.
Repetition does not establish validity.
Roses are red violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Rule of defactualization: information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
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Real programmers don't notch their desks for each completed service request.
Real programmers don't number paragraph names consecutively.
Real programmers print only clean compiles.
Real programmers write readable code, which they then self-righteously refuse to explain.
Remember the golden rule: Those that have the gold make the rules.
Remember the tea kettle; though up to its neck in hot water, it continues to sing.
Repetition does not establish validity.
Roses are red violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Rule of defactualization: information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
business one-liners 50
Approval Seeker's Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least. - Washington writer Rozanne Weissman
The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don't.
Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.
Arnold's Laws of Documentation: (1) If it should exist, it doesn't. (2) If it does exist, it's out of date. (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.
Astrology Laws: It's always the wrong time of the month. - Rozanne Weissman
Avery's Rule of Three: Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job - it's the start of a brand new series of three.
Baer's Quartet: What's good politics is bad economics; what's bad politics is good economics; what's good economics is bad politics; what's bad economics is good politics. - Eugene Baer (Baer also allows that it can be restated somewhat more compactly as "What's good politics is bad economics and vice versa, vice versa.")
Bagdikian's Observation: Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion" on a ukelele.
Baker's First Law of Federal Geometry: A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors.
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The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don't.
Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.
Arnold's Laws of Documentation: (1) If it should exist, it doesn't. (2) If it does exist, it's out of date. (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.
Astrology Laws: It's always the wrong time of the month. - Rozanne Weissman
Avery's Rule of Three: Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job - it's the start of a brand new series of three.
Baer's Quartet: What's good politics is bad economics; what's bad politics is good economics; what's good economics is bad politics; what's bad economics is good politics. - Eugene Baer (Baer also allows that it can be restated somewhat more compactly as "What's good politics is bad economics and vice versa, vice versa.")
Bagdikian's Observation: Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion" on a ukelele.
Baker's First Law of Federal Geometry: A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors.
business one-liners 92
Only a bureaucracy can fight a bureaucracy.
Only a fool can reproduce another fool's work.
Only a mediocre person is always at their best.
Only them as knows their own...knows.
Only those who attempt the absurd can acheive the impossible.
One test is worth a thousand expert opinions.
Old age is always fifteen years older than you are.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Never speculate on that which can be known for certain.
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Only a fool can reproduce another fool's work.
Only a mediocre person is always at their best.
Only them as knows their own...knows.
Only those who attempt the absurd can acheive the impossible.
One test is worth a thousand expert opinions.
Old age is always fifteen years older than you are.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Never speculate on that which can be known for certain.
business one-liners 95
To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.
To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Too light for heavy work and too heavy for light work.
Treat people as if they are what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being.
Trust everybody...then cut the cards.
Try to be the best of whatever you are, even if what you are is no good.
Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.
Two heads are more numerous than one.
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To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Too light for heavy work and too heavy for light work.
Treat people as if they are what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being.
Trust everybody...then cut the cards.
Try to be the best of whatever you are, even if what you are is no good.
Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.
Two heads are more numerous than one.
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