c.e.o. d.u.m.b
One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help.
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"Yes!" he says looking and sounding relieved, "This is very important."
Glad to help, she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper. Then her boss says, "Thanks, I only need one copy."
disarming the guard
Lem: 'I got fired from my job as a bank guard.'
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Clem: 'That's awful. What happened?'
Lem: 'Well a thief came in to rob a bank. I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, I'd let him have it.'
Clem: 'What did thief do then?'
Lem: 'He took one more step so I let him have it. I didn't want that stupid gun anyhow!'
it ain't surgery
A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at a neurosugeon's house. After a 2-minute job, he demanded $75.
"I don't charge this amount even though I'm a surgeon."
"You're right -- that's why I switched from surgery to plumbing!"
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"I don't charge this amount even though I'm a surgeon."
"You're right -- that's why I switched from surgery to plumbing!"
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