Business jokes

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.

"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."

"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, 'How much is the yellow one?'

The assistant says, '$2000.' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, 'This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.'

'What about the green one?' the man asks.

The assistant says, 'He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.'

'What about the red one?' the man asks.

The assistant says, 'That one's $10,000.'

The man says, 'What does HE do?'

The assistant says, 'I don't know, but the other two call him boss.'

Yo mama's so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and came out with a job application.

If Microsoft built cars you would need to restart your car, then it would perform illegal operations and crash.