chemistry song 15
Iron the Red Atom Molecule
(to the tune of "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer")
There was Cobalt and Argon and Carbon and Fluorine
Silver and Boron and Neon and Bromine
But do you recall
the most famous element of all?
Iron the red atom molecule
had a very shiny orbital
And if you ever saw him
You'd enjoy his magnetic glow
All of the other molecules
used to laugh and call him Ferrum
They never let poor Iron
join in any reaction games.
Then one inert Chemistry eve
Santa came to say
Iron with your orbital so bright
won't you catalyze the reaction tonight?
Then how the atoms reacted
and combined in twos and threes
Iron the red atom molecule
you'll go down in Chemistry!
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(to the tune of "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer")
There was Cobalt and Argon and Carbon and Fluorine
Silver and Boron and Neon and Bromine
But do you recall
the most famous element of all?
Iron the red atom molecule
had a very shiny orbital
And if you ever saw him
You'd enjoy his magnetic glow
All of the other molecules
used to laugh and call him Ferrum
They never let poor Iron
join in any reaction games.
Then one inert Chemistry eve
Santa came to say
Iron with your orbital so bright
won't you catalyze the reaction tonight?
Then how the atoms reacted
and combined in twos and threes
Iron the red atom molecule
you'll go down in Chemistry!
fight against co2
Isn't it time we required universal Federal licensing for use of Alka Seltzer, Fizzies, and Pop Rocks? Background verification, two week cooling off period, fingerprinting, mandatory fizz locks. No gas release in excess of one liter. No automatic unloading - no motorized or wind-up Pez dispensors!
CO2 kills! Suffocation! GREENHOUSE EFFECT! Save our children!
Minorities are put at risk! I want a National War on CO2! We already know how Belgium was decimated by Coke-a-Cola. Can we afford to risk American lives so the small cliques of fantatics and zealots can exercise their bubbling pornographic appetites? How many children must die before we act!
Burning the flag releases CO2, Hitler's crematoria released CO2, firebombing Dresden released CO2, nuking Hiroshima released CO2 - how much clearer must it be made?
And what about NO2? SO2? ClO2? Are we about to discriminate on the basis of Period Table group number? Renumbering the groups ws not enough. Renumbering the groups will NEVER be enough! I say, "NEVER!" Every elemental group must realize its full electrochemical potential and oxidation state, and all its lesser oxidation states as well - with equal representation!
Today it is baking soda and vinegar. Tomorrow it will be sodium hydroxide and concentrated sulfuric acid. By the end of the week butyllithium/TMEDA will be poured into Magic Acid by the pound! By the ton! WHERE WILL IT STOP!
Exotherms, global warming, penguins sweated to death... all because some MONSTER wanted a little fizz. Isn't that the way it always starts, with a "little" CO2 in a Bierstube in Munich? Computer models and their renormalized data are unequivocal: 44.0104!
Mommy, daddy, does your child breathe CO2?
Put an end to the CO2 nightmare before it's too late!
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CO2 kills! Suffocation! GREENHOUSE EFFECT! Save our children!
Minorities are put at risk! I want a National War on CO2! We already know how Belgium was decimated by Coke-a-Cola. Can we afford to risk American lives so the small cliques of fantatics and zealots can exercise their bubbling pornographic appetites? How many children must die before we act!
Burning the flag releases CO2, Hitler's crematoria released CO2, firebombing Dresden released CO2, nuking Hiroshima released CO2 - how much clearer must it be made?
And what about NO2? SO2? ClO2? Are we about to discriminate on the basis of Period Table group number? Renumbering the groups ws not enough. Renumbering the groups will NEVER be enough! I say, "NEVER!" Every elemental group must realize its full electrochemical potential and oxidation state, and all its lesser oxidation states as well - with equal representation!
Today it is baking soda and vinegar. Tomorrow it will be sodium hydroxide and concentrated sulfuric acid. By the end of the week butyllithium/TMEDA will be poured into Magic Acid by the pound! By the ton! WHERE WILL IT STOP!
Exotherms, global warming, penguins sweated to death... all because some MONSTER wanted a little fizz. Isn't that the way it always starts, with a "little" CO2 in a Bierstube in Munich? Computer models and their renormalized data are unequivocal: 44.0104!
Mommy, daddy, does your child breathe CO2?
Put an end to the CO2 nightmare before it's too late!
the cesium song 11
Cesium Glows
(Tune, Love's a Rose - Neil Young)
Cesium glows, but you better not lick it,
It's fire grows when it's on the tongue.
Lips full of holes, you'll know you've kissed it,
Just take a bite if you want to die young.
I want to see what's never been seen,
I want to dream that Cesium dream.
Come on love, we can glow together,
Let's eat it all right now.
Take a bite right now.
I want to lie in a hole in the ground,
Six feet deep, and twelve feet 'round.
Sky blue light around me shinin',
Pale blue worms upon me dinin'.
Cesium glows, but you better not lick it,
It's fire grows when its on your tongue.
Mouth full of holes if ever you kiss it,
Gimme a spoon 'cause I wanna die Young.
---Songs of Cesium #109
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(Tune, Love's a Rose - Neil Young)
Cesium glows, but you better not lick it,
It's fire grows when it's on the tongue.
Lips full of holes, you'll know you've kissed it,
Just take a bite if you want to die young.
I want to see what's never been seen,
I want to dream that Cesium dream.
Come on love, we can glow together,
Let's eat it all right now.
Take a bite right now.
I want to lie in a hole in the ground,
Six feet deep, and twelve feet 'round.
Sky blue light around me shinin',
Pale blue worms upon me dinin'.
Cesium glows, but you better not lick it,
It's fire grows when its on your tongue.
Mouth full of holes if ever you kiss it,
Gimme a spoon 'cause I wanna die Young.
---Songs of Cesium #109
a geologist's song 04
Newfoundland, My Newfoundland
(Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz
Convection's cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Great faulted blocks came crashing down, and flood basalts the land did drown,
And clastics coarse fell all around, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
Iapetus began to spread, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Detritus from thy coast was shed, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Thy slope was draped, so proud and great, with massive banks of carbonate,
Grand bank to meet so sad a fate, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
For flysch encroaching from the east, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Devoured thy margin like a beast, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
The ocean floor was raised on high, its mafic head reared to the sky;
Its chromous threat was drawing nigh, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
Your once-proud bank was bowing down, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Subduction did thy margin drown, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
The angry mantle did desire to smother thee with ash and fire,
And close Iapetus entire, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
The island arc with fiery breath, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Did shower all the land with death, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Until subduction's starving throat, on Grenville crust was made to choke,
The tyrant's rule collision broke, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
The land subsided in its pain, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Olistostromes in chaos reigned, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Then in Caradoc time there came a shale everywhere the same
That blanketed thy wounds and shame, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
Behold! Upon thy ancient shore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
A landmass was annealed once more, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Alas! Thy trials go on and on, for rifting struck the Avalon -
The cycle must repeat anon, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
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(Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz
Convection's cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Great faulted blocks came crashing down, and flood basalts the land did drown,
And clastics coarse fell all around, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
Iapetus began to spread, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Detritus from thy coast was shed, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Thy slope was draped, so proud and great, with massive banks of carbonate,
Grand bank to meet so sad a fate, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
For flysch encroaching from the east, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Devoured thy margin like a beast, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
The ocean floor was raised on high, its mafic head reared to the sky;
Its chromous threat was drawing nigh, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
Your once-proud bank was bowing down, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Subduction did thy margin drown, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
The angry mantle did desire to smother thee with ash and fire,
And close Iapetus entire, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
The island arc with fiery breath, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Did shower all the land with death, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Until subduction's starving throat, on Grenville crust was made to choke,
The tyrant's rule collision broke, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
The land subsided in its pain, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Olistostromes in chaos reigned, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Then in Caradoc time there came a shale everywhere the same
That blanketed thy wounds and shame, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
Behold! Upon thy ancient shore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
A landmass was annealed once more, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland,
Alas! Thy trials go on and on, for rifting struck the Avalon -
The cycle must repeat anon, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland!
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