science jokes jokes

CHEMISTRY RHYMES
Old Man Stokes
Old man Stokes was a gentleman fine
Who lived beside the Raleigh line;
Old anti-Stokes, his existance denied,
Lived never-the-less on the other side.

REASONS TO BE A CHEMIST

- All the coffee and pocket protectors you could want!

- Clark Kent style safety glasses

. - Exposure to all kinds of toxic and cancerous substances.

- The "opportunity" to deal with irate clients asking "where are my results?"

- Because it's pHun :)

- Access to 100% pure ethanol

- Knowing how to completely dissolve the bodies of your enemies

- You never have to worry about what you're doing on Friday night (You're working in the lab)

- Permanent goggle marks cheaper than a tattoo.

- You wish to be blamed for all faults in the environment.

- ditto for cancer

- You are adept at poverty cooking

- You prefer to get your course credits the hard way

We Wish You a Happy Halogen

We wish you a happy halogen
We wish you a happy halogen
We wish you a happy halogen
To react with a metal.

Good acid we bring
to you and your base.
We wish you a merry molecule
and a happy halogen.

REAL QUESTIONS ASKED IN SCIENCE CLASSES

Are the rivers flowing up the mountain or down the mountain?

Is that the ocean? (Asked while on a field trip to Marine Lab Beach on Guam (a small island in the Pacific).

How can the river be flowing north? That's uphill!

How can mass wasting be an agent of landscape formation on the Moon? The Moon has no gravity!

How do I get water into this beaker?