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the astronomy jokes
 
 
NASA just disclosed details why the rover wouldn't accept any commands. They took a picture of the rover's built-in display which showed a windows screen and the text "press any key to continue".

It is not conclusive yet, but the NASA believes the Mars Pathfinder has found proof of life on Mars. The cd player was stolen.

The Mars Pathfinder was renamed today in honor of the late astronomer, Carl Sagan. The craft will henceforth be referred to as bha memorial station.

You've probably heard about the Mars Pathfinder probe. Once it lands on the red planet, pathfinder will release the sojourner rover, a little laboratory on wheels. Sojourner will cruise about the martian surface performing experments. It turns out that sojourner and pathfinder will communicate using two standard, off-the-shelf 9600 baud radio modems.

According to jet propulsion laboratory program manager Donna Shirley, the modem manufacturer warned jpl that sending the modem to mars would void the warranty.

actual test answers
 
 
These are reputedly real answers to questions on science tests.

When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.

When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.

Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or, if it's a lady, rub her arm above the hand. Or put her head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.

Equator: a menagerie lion running around Earth through Africa.

Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot.

The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is so that there is something to hitch the meat to.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain. The borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - A, E, I, O, and U.

jokes of science 03
 
 
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him, and says "For you, no charge."

Two fermions walk into a bar. One orders a drink. The other says "I'll have what he's having."

Two atoms bump into each other. One says "I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?", to which the first replies, "I'm positive."

Renee Descartes walks into a bar, the bartender says "sir can I get you a martini "Descartes says "I don't think..." and he disappears

Where does bad light end up? Answer: In a prism!

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg says "No, but I know where I am."

the biology song 06
 
 
O Humid Night
(Melody: "O Holy Night")

O Humid Night
Anopheline mosquitoes
Are circling you in the hope of a meal.
She takes a bite, saliva from her mouthparts
Drool parasites which you can't see or feel

Your brain can get sick,
You will have a coma
After the rage and the headaches have passed
You're veggie soup, home to protozoa,
Mosquito lands, time to go home at last..

Fall on your knees,
Pale, burning with fever
Plasmodia
Are in your blood, were in your spleen
Malaria
There's no real cure, just in your dreams...


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