science jokes jokes

Why Don't We Mix Up the Two

(Tune, "Why don't we get drunk..."
with apologies to Jimmy Buffett)

I've got a pound of Cesium,
It's burning gently near.
The sky-blue flame looks lovely,
But it's noise I want to hear.
So darlin' bring some water,
A couple pints'll do.
And why don't we mix up the two?

Why don't we mix up the two?
'Cause Cesium and water,
Really make a wicked brew.
You say I've got a death wish,
But honey, I'm just blue.
So why don't we mix up the two?

---Songs of Cesium #29

Lab Reports
(to the tune of "Jingle Bells")

Dashing through the lab
with a tan page lab report
Taking all those tests
and laughing at them all
Bells for fire drills ring
making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
a chemistry song tonight.

Oh, lab report, lab reports,
reacting all the way
Oh what fun it is to study
for a chemistry test today, Hey!

Chemistry test, chemistry test
isn't it a blast
Oh what fun it is to take
a chemistry test and pass.