business one-liners 97
We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive. - C.S. Lewis
We are often most in the dark when we are the most certain, and most enligthened when we are the most confused.
We don't have the time or money to do it right, but we'll have time and money to do it over again.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
We sometimes get all the information, but we refuse to get the message.
We'll worry about that when we get there.
We're making progress. Things are getting worse at a slower rate.
We've always done it that way!
Wet manure is slippery. - OSHA discovery
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We are often most in the dark when we are the most certain, and most enligthened when we are the most confused.
We don't have the time or money to do it right, but we'll have time and money to do it over again.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
We sometimes get all the information, but we refuse to get the message.
We'll worry about that when we get there.
We're making progress. Things are getting worse at a slower rate.
We've always done it that way!
Wet manure is slippery. - OSHA discovery
business one-liners 103
Wisdom consists of knowing when to avoid perfection.
Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
Without data, yours is just another opinion.
Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will be able to buy the things only the young can enjoy.
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Work may be the crabgrass of life, but money is still the water that keeps it green.
You can always find what you're not looking for.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself any time.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, and that should be sufficient for most purposes.
You won't skid if you stay in a rut.
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Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
Without data, yours is just another opinion.
Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will be able to buy the things only the young can enjoy.
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Work may be the crabgrass of life, but money is still the water that keeps it green.
You can always find what you're not looking for.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself any time.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, and that should be sufficient for most purposes.
You won't skid if you stay in a rut.
keep high work profile
Never write a note or memo if you can phone or visit instead; everyone wants to talk whenever you're ready.
Don't sit down to talk. The acoustics are better the higher you are, and remember that most people are a bit deaf so speak up louder!
Try to talk with _at least_ three people between you and your listener, so that they don't feel left out.
The very best place for a conversation is in the corridor, beside someone else's desk. If the corridor is full, try leaning against their cupboard or hanging over their screen.
Never warn people of your approach by knocking on their desk or cupboard. People love surprises, especially if they're busy.
The best time to disturb someone is when they look thoughtful or are concentrating. It's your _duty_ to give them a break now and again.
To make sure that _you_ get regular breaks, never use a "Do No Disturb" sign. When other people use them they're only joking.
Always hold meetings around a desk. If you book a conference room everyone will think you've got something to hide.
If the phone isn't answered after four rings, hang on. Someone will answer it eventually, and they might like a chat, too.
Never divert calls if you're leaving your desk. Your telephone could get into bad habits.
Try to whistle, hum or tap your fingers while you work. It is a comfort to others to know that you're still there.
If you have to design the office layout, remember to leave lots of wide-open spaces so that we can see and hear each other right across the floor.
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Don't sit down to talk. The acoustics are better the higher you are, and remember that most people are a bit deaf so speak up louder!
Try to talk with _at least_ three people between you and your listener, so that they don't feel left out.
The very best place for a conversation is in the corridor, beside someone else's desk. If the corridor is full, try leaning against their cupboard or hanging over their screen.
Never warn people of your approach by knocking on their desk or cupboard. People love surprises, especially if they're busy.
The best time to disturb someone is when they look thoughtful or are concentrating. It's your _duty_ to give them a break now and again.
To make sure that _you_ get regular breaks, never use a "Do No Disturb" sign. When other people use them they're only joking.
Always hold meetings around a desk. If you book a conference room everyone will think you've got something to hide.
If the phone isn't answered after four rings, hang on. Someone will answer it eventually, and they might like a chat, too.
Never divert calls if you're leaving your desk. Your telephone could get into bad habits.
Try to whistle, hum or tap your fingers while you work. It is a comfort to others to know that you're still there.
If you have to design the office layout, remember to leave lots of wide-open spaces so that we can see and hear each other right across the floor.
nerds versus jocks
An answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?"
Michael Jordan will make over $300,000 a game: $10,000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game.
Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178,100 a day (working or not)!
Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike).
He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.
Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into his tax deferred account (401k), he will have hit the federal cap of $9500 for such accounts at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st, 1998.
If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics. He'll make about $15,600 while the Boston Marathon is being run.
While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.
Next year, he'll make more than twice as much as all of our past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?
But:
Jordan will have to save 100% of his income for 270 years to have a net worth equivalent to that of Bill Gates.
Nerds win!
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Michael Jordan will make over $300,000 a game: $10,000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game.
Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178,100 a day (working or not)!
Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike).
He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.
Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into his tax deferred account (401k), he will have hit the federal cap of $9500 for such accounts at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st, 1998.
If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics. He'll make about $15,600 while the Boston Marathon is being run.
While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.
Next year, he'll make more than twice as much as all of our past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?
But:
Jordan will have to save 100% of his income for 270 years to have a net worth equivalent to that of Bill Gates.
Nerds win!
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