old age jokes jokes

OLD POSTAL CARRIERS never die, they just lose their zip

OLD PRINTERS never die, they're just not the type

OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just byte it

OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just decompile

OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just get bugged with life

OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just go to bits

OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just lose their memory

OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just move to new addresses

OLD PROGRAMMING WIZARDS never die, they just recurse

OLD PROPANE TANKS never die, they just run out of gas

OLD PROSITUTES never die, they just fake away...

OLD PUNTERS never die, they just go horse

OLD QUARTERBACKS never die, they just fade back and pass away

OLD QUILTERS never die, they just go to pieces

OLD QUILTERS never die, they just go under cover

In the dim and distant past
When life's tempo wasn't so fast,
Grandma used to rock and knit,
Crochet, tat and baby sit.

When the kids were in a jam,
They could always call on Gram.
But today she's in the gym
Exercising to keep slim.

She's checking the web or surfing the net,
Sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her,
Now that Grandma's off her rocker.

OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just they just change color

OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just they're just fooling themselves

OLD MAIDS count on fingers, but young girls count on legs

OLD MATH TEACHERS never die, they just reduce to lowest terms

OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just disintegrate

OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just go off on a tangent

OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just lose some functions

OLD MEDIUMS never die, they are just visiting their friends

OLD MERCENARIES never die, they find someone else to take their place

OLD MERCENARIES never die, they just go to hell to regroup

OLD METEORS never die, they just burn up

OLD MILKMAIDS never die, they just lose their whey

OLD MINISTERS never die -- they just go out to pastor

OLD MP's never die, they just attain peerage

OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just decompose

OLD TEACHERS never die, they just lose their class

OLD TELEPHONES never die, they just stop ringing

OLD THERMODYNAMICISTS never die, they just achieve their state -- of maximum entropy

OLD TIRE TUBES never die, they just get punctured

OLD TRASH never dies, they just bury it

OLD TRIGONOMETRY TEACHERS never die, they just lose their identities

OLD TROMBONISTS never die - they just slide away...

OLD TRUCK DRIVERS never die; they just get a new Peterbilt

OLD TV SHOWS never die, they just get rerun on Nickelodeon

OLD TV SOAP STARS never die, they become pathetic

OLD GOAL UMPIRES never die, they just get flagged down -- umpires as in Australian Rules Football

OLD USENETTERS never die, they just become unresponsive

OLD VACATIONERS never die, they just don't come back

OLD VIOLINISTS never die - they just become unstrung.

OLD VOICEMAIL SYSTEMS never die, they just stop answering