science jokes jokes

It's So Easy
(Tune, It's so Easy)

It's with Cesium I'm in love!
It's with Cesium I'm in love!

People say that I'm a fool,
When I take my Cesium into the pool.
And it's so easy,
So doggone easy,
Yes it's so easy,
Where my love's concerned,
To get myself burned.

But it's with Cesium I'm in love,
It's with Cesium I'm in love!

I look into her flame and see,
A sky-blue light floodin' over me.
Though it's so easy,
So doggone easy,
Yeah it's so easy,
When she's concerned,
To get myself burned.
Still it's with Cesium I'm in love,
It's with Cesium I'm in love!

---Songs of Cesium #87

Cesium (All through the Night)
(Tune, Fever)

(1)
Never know how much I need you,
Never know how much I'd dare,
When I mix you up with water,
I get a heat that's hard to bear.

I need my Cesium!
Burnin' brightly,
Cesium to give me light.
Cesium --
In the morning,
Cesium all through the night.

(2)
Sun lights up the daytime.
Moon lights up the night.
Cesium lights up heaven above,
With a brilliant sky-blue light.

I need my Cesium!
Burnin' hotly.
Cesium shinin' so bright.
Cesium --
In the morning,
Cesium to make me feel right.

(Coda)
Everybody,
Needs some Cesium,
Cesium to give 'em that glow.
Cesium --
Add some water,
Get a fire hot as down below!

(3)
Romeo, he had Cesium,
Cool water Juliette.
When they mixed it up together,
Things got as hot as they can get!

They needed Cesium!
Flamin' madly.
Cesium burnin' so blue.
Cesium --
Shared between them.
Cesium to make their love true.

(4)
Come to the end of my story.
Got to the point that I made.
Cesium's the stuff to heat you up,
And you ain't gonna find no shade!

You'll need cesium!
As you sizzle.
Cesium some comfort to earn.
Cesium --
It's almighty.
What a lovely way to burn!

--- Songs of Cesium #96

O Little Melting Particle
(to the tune of "O Little Town Of Bethlehem")

Para Dichloro Benzene
how do you melt so well?
The plateau of your cooling curve
is really something swell.
We think the heat of fusion
of water is so nice
Give up fourteen hundred cals per mole
and what you get is ice.

O Humid Night
(Melody: "O Holy Night")

O Humid Night
Anopheline mosquitoes
Are circling you in the hope of a meal.
She takes a bite, saliva from her mouthparts
Drool parasites which you can't see or feel

Your brain can get sick,
You will have a coma
After the rage and the headaches have passed
You're veggie soup, home to protozoa,
Mosquito lands, time to go home at last..

Fall on your knees,
Pale, burning with fever
Plasmodia
Are in your blood, were in your spleen
Malaria
There's no real cure, just in your dreams...