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12051 - Answering message 247 - funny answering machine messages
Borg communications router. Unit addressed unavailable. Hails are irrelevant.... [read complete]
12052 - Answering message 249 - funny answering machine messages
Hello, you've reached 344-1312, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Ple... [read complete]
12053 - Answering message 251 - funny answering machine messages
Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can't come to the phone right ... [read complete]
12054 - Answering message 253 - funny answering machine messages
You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton. All our agents are busy un... [read complete]
12055 - Answering message 255 - funny answering machine messages
Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because ... [read complete]
12056 - Answering message 242 - funny answering machine messages
Starship Enterprise, Uhura here, can you hold please? -- Captain, there is a ... [read complete]
12057 - Answering message 244 - funny answering machine messages
Thank you for calling Starfleet Command. No starships are in the quadrant at ... [read complete]
12058 - Answering message 246 - funny answering machine messages
(Borg voice:) WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOUR PHONE CALL, AS IT HAS B... [read complete]
12059 - Answering message 248 - funny answering machine messages
(Chekov's voice:) Oh Keptin! It was Khan! He made us do things... Say things ... [read complete]
12060 - Answering message 250 - funny answering machine messages
(Darth Vader voice:) Speak, worm!
12061 - Answering message 252 - funny answering machine messages
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler i... [read complete]
12062 - Answering message 254 - funny answering machine messages
Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right ... [read complete]
12063 - Answering message 256 - funny answering machine messages
(For Shakespeare lovers only:) So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.
12064 - Answering message 258 - funny answering machine messages
You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.
12065 - Answering message 260 - funny answering machine messages
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I die before I wake, Remember to erase the tape.
12066 - Answering message 257 - funny answering machine messages
I am not home to talk to you, But please don't be a creep. Just leave your name and number, At the sound of the...
12067 - Answering message 259 - funny answering machine messages
These words are lovely dark and deep But I've got promises to keep and miles ... [read complete]
12068 - Bumper stickers 01 - funny bumper stickers
I love animals, they taste great. EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other plan... [read complete]
12069 - Bumper stickers 02 - funny bumper stickers
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Hard work has a future payoff... [read complete]
12070 - Bumper stickers 03 - funny bumper stickers
All generalizations are false, including this one. "Criminal Lawyer" is a re... [read complete]
12071 - Bumper stickers 04 - funny bumper stickers
If you are psychic - think "HONK" If you can read this, I can slam on my bra... [read complete]
12072 - Bumper stickers 05 - funny bumper stickers
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. BEER: It's not just for breakfast... [read complete]
12073 - Bumper stickers 06 - funny bumper stickers
Where there's a will...I want to be on it. It's lonely at the top, but you e... [read complete]
12074 - Bumper stickers 07 - funny bumper stickers
Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. Santa's elves are just a bunc... [read complete]
12075 - Bumper stickers 08 - funny bumper stickers
Ambivalent? Well yes and no.... Does your train of thought have a caboose? ... [read complete]
12076 - Bumper stickers 09 - funny bumper stickers
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll ... [read complete]
12077 - Bumper stickers 10 - funny bumper stickers
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. A bartender is just a pharma... [read complete]
12078 - Bumper stickers 11 - funny bumper stickers
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? Lottery: A ... [read complete]
12079 - Bumper stickers 12 - funny bumper stickers
Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'. Don't force it, get a larger ha... [read complete]
12080 - Bumper stickers 13 - funny bumper stickers
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. Jury: Twelve people who ... [read complete]
12081 - Bumper stickers 14 - funny bumper stickers
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. I feel like I'm dia... [read complete]
12082 - Bumper stickers 15 - funny bumper stickers
On the other hand, you have different fingers. "I love cats...they taste just... [read complete]
12083 - Bumper stickers 16 - funny bumper stickers
"All generalizations are false." "Time is what keeps everything from happenin... [read complete]
12084 - Bumper stickers 17 - funny bumper stickers
"Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition." "It's as BAD as you think,... [read complete]
12085 - Bumper stickers 18 - funny bumper stickers
"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!" "Accord... [read complete]
12086 - Bumper stickers 19 - funny bumper stickers
"Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself." "I'm out of bed and dres... [read complete]
12087 - Bumper stickers 20 - funny bumper stickers
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them! Why do psychics have to ask you ... [read complete]
12088 - Bumper stickers 21 - funny bumper stickers
Gravity- It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW! Why be difficult, when with... [read complete]
12089 - Bumper stickers 22 - funny bumper stickers
My karma ran over your dogma. I brake for... wait... AAAH! NO BRAKES!!!!! A f... [read complete]
12090 - Medical terminology - funny guides
Artery -- Study of paintings Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria Barium -- Wha... [read complete]
12091 - Hick computer terms - funny guides
Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods. Bar code - Them's t... [read complete]
12092 - A woman's dictionary - funny guides
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he... [read complete]
12093 - Hick computer terms - funny guides
Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter. Log Off: Don't add no wood. Monitor: Ke... [read complete]
12094 - Woman's instructions - funny guides
THE WOMAN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made lo... [read complete]
12095 - Guide for all women - funny guides
A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING: I'M HUNGRY. I'm hungry. I'... [read complete]
12096 - The guide for all men - funny guides
WOMEN'S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I'm sorry. = You'll ... [read complete]
12097 - A man's translations - funny guides
These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you ... [read complete]
12098 - Woman's translations - funny guides
The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The ... [read complete]
12099 - Mother's dictionary - funny guides
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What... [read complete]
12100 - Evaluation comments - funny guides
Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the su... [read complete]
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