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In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical “dihydrogen monoxide.” And for plenty of good reasons:
1. It can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. It is a major component of acid rain
3. It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. Accidental inhalation can kill you
5. It contributes to erosion
6. It decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. It has been found in tumors of terminal cancer
He asked fifty people if they supported a ban of the chemical.
Forty-three said yes and six were undecided. Only one knew that the chemical, “dihydrogen monoxide” was water. The title of his prize winning project was, “How Gullible are We?” He feels the conclusion is obvious.
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The same guy comes back the next day and says, "Got any weed?" The man behind the counter, although slightly annoyed, patiently replied, "No sir. We don't sell marijuana." So the man went home.
He goes once again to the gas station. And again, he says to the guy working there, "Got any weed?" By this time the other dude was pissed. He yells, "You freakin' refer-lovin', pot-head burn-out! I told you, we don't sell that crap here! If you ever come back in here asking for that filthy crap again, I'll nail your freaking feet to the floor. Got it? Now beat it before I call the cops." So the stoner left.
The next day he went back to the same old place with a dopey smile on his face. He went to the cashier and said, "Got any nails?" The man hesitated, then replied, "um, no. . . sir, we don't sell nails here." The stoner grinned. "Got any weed?"
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A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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- The bumper sticker on your car reads: "What Would Dawson Do?"
- In the middle of an exam, you tell the professor you want to use a lifeline.
- You need to be tranquilized when the cable goes out.
- In the late evening, you look forward to sitting back and catching the latest informercial.
- If you're a witness to an argument, you instinctually shout, "Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!"
- You try to impress the opposite sex by saying, "Hey, I get 120 channels!"
- Your entire CD collection consists of "Greatest Hits" albums by the decade.
- You have a gold-plated "clicker."
- Your intellectual discussions all stem from The Discovery Channel.
- After 15 minutes of work, you need a two-minute break.
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