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The boss said, "Boys, you need to take a test before you can get this job."
So they took the test and the next day they came back to see who the boss chose. "Well," he said, "Both of you got the same score except I'm going to choose the geek."
The jock complained, "Don't you think that's prejudice or something?"
"Well," the boss said, "Let me tell you what happened. Both of your papers were right all the way through until the last question came up, and the geek answered 'I don't know,' and then when I looked at your paper, you answered, 'Me either'.
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He pulled off one of its legs and yelled 'hop!', and the grasshhoper hopped. Then he took another leg and yelled 'hop!' and the grasshopper hopped. Then he took all of its legs and yelled 'hop!' but the insect did not hop. He yelled again, but the insect did not hop.
So he came to the conclusion that when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it will become deaf.
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"Well," said the chaffeur, "I've got a good idea. Why don't I give the speech since I've heard it so many times?' So Albert's chauffeur gave the speech perfectly and even answered a few questions. Then, a professor stood up and asked him a really tough question about anti-matter which the chauffeur couldn't answer
"Sir, the answer to your question is so easy that I'll let my chauffeur answer it!"
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3. When he/she says, "Is it hot out?" Look puzzled and put on your winter jacket.
4. Pick up the phone even when it is not ringing.
5. Stare at the mirror and start laughing at it. Hey, laugh really hard ok?
6.Talk to the goldfish about fat cats lurking around. Then laugh aloud, happy that you have scared it.
7. Pretend to be angry and bang the table hard AND loud. Later apologise for the hurt and grief caused to the table. Be sincere and write a letter of apology to the table.
8. Ask him/her the time constantly. Every 5 minutes. All night too.
9. Roll around the room and behave like a cat. Lick yourself and scratch the floor. Play with a ball of yarn and eat only fish. Meow loudly at him/her when he/she talks to you.
10. Buy underpants for him/her and say, "Now we can share!"
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