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counting condoms
 
 
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.

Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"

Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."

Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"

Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."

Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"

Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."

pleasure vs. disgrace
 
 
The dean of a women's college, addressing her charges, concluded, "...and remember, young ladies, you represent not only your own honor but that of the school. When approached by young men, ask yourself: Is an hour's pleasure worth a lifetime of disgrace? Now, are there any questions?"

A young lady immediately raised her hand and said, "Tell me, how do you make it last an hour?"

worst comments to get on your finals
 
 
10. See me after class.
9. Did you even read the material?
8. It's a C, but it's a strong C.
7. Fascinatingly convoluted.
6. My, what nice, big margins!
5. You must've been up all last night.
4. The book ends differently than the movie.
3. Spelling requires more than just sounding it out.
2. Are you familiar with the term "plagiarism"?
1. Tell your mom to try harder.
count chock full of nuts
 
 
Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?

A: Because 69's a mouthfull.


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