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psychology class
A college psychology class was studing human reaction to sexual stimulus and of special interest was the frequency of amorous relations.

'How many students here,' said the professor, 'engage more than once a week?'
Five people raised their hands.

'And how many engage once a week?'
Ten hands went up.

'How many twice a month?'
Eight hands went up.

'Once a month?'
Four hands were raised.

'And how may once a year?'
A little guy in the back waved his hand frantically and giggled hysterically.

'If you engage only once a year,' said the professor, 'I don't see what you're so overjoyed about.'
Flush with excitement, the little guy said, 'Yeah, but tonight's the night!'

moms and their snooping
Three women are discussing their teenage daughters.

The first declares: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter's room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn't even know that she smoked!"

"It gets worse than that," says the second mother. "I was tidying my daughter's room last week and I found a bottle of vodka under her bed. I didn't even know that she drank!"

"Oh, it gets even worse than that," says the third mother. "I was tidying my daughter's room last week and you'll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet: a packet of condoms! I didn't even know that she had a penis!"

sorortiy sister, nympho & hooker
What's the difference between a hooker, a nymphomaniac, and a sorority sister?

The hooker says, 'Are you done already?'
The nympho says, 'Oh no! You're not done already!?'
The sorority sister says, 'Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.'

clemson wedding -- a long, true story
This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. This was a huge wedding with over 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage and took the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception. To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. Taped to the bottom of everyone's chair (even the chairs of the wedding party) was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open their envelopes.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to the wedding.) After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said 'F--- you !' he then turned to the bride and said 'F--- you !' and then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said..... 'Thanks, I'm out of here.'

He had the marriage annulled first thing that Monday morning. While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if nothing was wrong. His revenge: 1) Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception. 2) Letting everyone know exactly what did happen. 3) And best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of all of their friends, their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews, etc.... Ya gotta love this guy.

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