redneck jokes jokes

You might be a reneck if...

You pull up to a gas station in a limo to buy a can of Skoal.

Your boyfriend gives you car parts for your birthday, and you like it.

Coons get into everyone else's trash but yours.

When you say, "Let's hit the hay," you actually MEAN it.

You can feed a family of five on ONE McDonald's Extra Value Meal.

Your kids LIKE the Arch Deluxe hamburger at McDonalds.

You think the tobacco companies have done nothing wrong.

You *have* a clawfoot bathtub.

You've ever been arrested for bootleggin'.

You spell out NASCAR in Christmas lights.

You might be a reneck if...

Your idea of good fishing involves the use of a boat, a net and dynamite.

Burger King won't let you do it your way, right away.

You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can't remember your wifes birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary.

You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can't remember how old your children are.

Your idea of going to see a play involves goal posts.

You think a computer hacker carries an axe.

You keep a chainsaw in the trunk "just in case".

You've given your gun a woman's name.

Baling wire and a pair of pliers are what you consider high tech tools.

You go to the post office to research your family tree.

You might be a reneck if...

You can chew your own toenails.

You've ever used an inner-tube patch on your jeans.

You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday.

Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles.

You let goldenrod grow in your yard because it looks so pretty.

You've ever absent-mindedly nibbled on your live bait . . . and didn't spit it out.

Your best Sunday clothes include your John Deere baseball cap.

You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger.

Your friend tells you he went online last night, and you think he took a drunk driving test.

Your mama has more tattoos than you do.

You might be a redneck if...

Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.

Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."

The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

You pick your teeth from a catalog.

You've ever financed a tattoo.

You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."

Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.

Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.