redneck jokes jokes

At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him.

"Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?'"

"And then what happened?" the officer interrupted.

"From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game.'"

You might be a reneck if...

Duct tape and wire are the only two things holding your truck together.

Your bumper sticker reads "If you're missing your cat, look in my treads. "

You think the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.

You've ever parked your date next to a YIELD sign hoping she'd take the hint.

Your kids learned to shoot before they learned to walk.

You place a classified asking less than $1.

You think the freeway is the back door of the movie theater.

Higher math means counting over 10.

The lake has to be restocked after you take a bath.

You have a lucky rabbit's foot in your pocket and a lucky rabbit nailed above your fireplace.

There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence.

He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn't he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence? He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn't realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: "CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN"

You might be a reneck if...

You've ever been stuck in your own driveway.

You refer to your dog as the dishwasher.

Your car is made out of 17 others and each part is a different color.

You repair your car in the autoparts store parking lot.

You can name all the characters from the "Dukes of Hazzard".

You recite lines from "The Dukes of Hazzard".

You keep track of all the belt holders in all the wrestling leagues.

You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.

You search your computer monitor for the dial that changes channels.

Your idea of a fancy dessert is "moon pie ala mode".