redneck jokes jokes

You might be a reneck if...

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side.. .it'll be a hoot."

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.

The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

You have a stuffed womp rat anywhere in your home. You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag. More than half the droids you own don't function. The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q. You wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on getting married. You used a carbon-freezing chamber to mount the Wampa you shot while on vacation on Hoth.

Your moonshine is made on a real moon.

You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.

Sandpeople back down from your mama.

You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.

You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent.

You might be a reneck if...

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling. You have ever used a lightsaber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.

You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac. You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid. A Wookie has ever told you that you need to shave. You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while trying to light a cigarette with your lightsaber.

Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".

Immunizations are worn fanny-packs, full of lizard's feet, owl's beaks and pig's ears.

Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it's shown on The Learning Channel.

You have a choice of walkers, with or without a gun rack.

You share the Recovery Room with a sick cow.

The bill is figured either in dollars or chickens.

Hospital food consists of picking your own corn on the roof.

You might be a redneck if...

You've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.

You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You've ever been too drunk to fish.

You've ever bought a used cap.

You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You've ever used a weedeater indoors.

Your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).

You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'.

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

You might be a redneck if...

You smoke during your deer hunt after scent-proofing yourself all month.

A tornado goes through your trailer's yard and makes it look neater.

You've got to shuck your toilet paper before you use it.

You have an autographed picture of Bob Barker in your wallet.

You think "Meals on Wheels" is another name for roadkill.

You shot your own 12 point coat rack.

You've been to the emergency room more than 3 times for mashing the wrong end of a thumb tack.

The number of times you've seen either Elvis or a UFO exceeds your I.Q.

Any of your neighbors has ever spent Halloween night at the bottom of a hole because you moved their outhouse back about four feet.

You've ever lost a dog to a bush hog.