redneck jokes jokes

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redneck jokes


you're a redneck if 19
 
 
You might be a redneck if...

You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.

You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.

There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.

Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job--primer red and primer gray.

The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

you're a redneck if 23
 
 
You might be a redneck if...

You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Play Ball..."

You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

You bring your dog to work with you.

Your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.

You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.

Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

Your masseuse uses lard.

Your wife's best shoes have steel toes.

You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.

you're a redneck if 24
 
 
You might be a redneck if...

On stag night, you take a real deer.

You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.

Your back porch is bigger than your house.

There is more oil in your cap than in your car.

You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.

You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

Your secret family recipe is illegal.

you're a redneck if 26
 
 
You might be a redneck if...

Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".

You've ever hitchhiked naked.

You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.

Your bumper sticker says, "My other car is a combine."

The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.

The highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.


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