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redneck jokes


you're a redneck if 75
 
 
You might be a reneck if...

You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok... without using the word "chicken".

You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.

A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.

You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.

You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. Wookies are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

you're a redneck if 22
 
 
You might be a redneck if...

Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

Your dad is also your favorite uncle.

Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!"

You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"

Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

you're a redneck if 77
 
 
You might be a reneck if...

You don't think the Ewoks are primitive. You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow. You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem. The Rancor monster refused to eat you.

You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.

Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.

Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.

You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

you're a redneck if 41
 
 
You might be a redneck if...

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.

You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

Your screen door has no screen.


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