redneck jokes jokes

Jokes » redneck jokes » jokes 13

redneck jokes


you're a redneck if 20
 
 
You might be a redneck if...

Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house

The ASPCA raids your kitchen.

You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.

You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something.

Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

you're a redneck if 34
 
 
You might be a redneck if...

Smith and Wesson attended your wedding without an invitation and there was nothing you could do about it.

When you hear someone talking about the king you don't know whether they're talking about Elvis or Richard Petty.

You complain about the ban on assault weapons because it make half your guns illegal.

You use a pig for a garbage disposal.

You can't go to church this year because your Sunday socks are being used as the truck's gas cap.

You think the vowels are E..I..E..I..O.

You clean your car or truck out with a leaf blower.

Your tackle box contains dynamite and blasting caps.

You have the policeman hold your beer while you get your license.

You gave your young son a super-soaker water gun and an NRA application for his birthday.

you're a redneck if 37
 
 
You might be a redneck if...

The directions to your bathroom include, "Go past the big oak and hang a left at the woodshed."

You're in bed with your wife and you call out a name you gave to a coon you killed.

You've ever been arrested for where you got your girlfriend roses.

Your old car is now considered the main storage unit.

Every magazine on your coffee table has a piece of toilet paper for a bookmark.

Charlie Daniels is your commencement speaker.

After the divorce you still call your Ex "Cuz".

You have a bowling machine in your kitchen.

You pick up your girfriend on a bike for the prom.

The Roto-Rooter man calls for backup when visiting your house.

you're a redneck if 53
 
 
You might be a redneck if...

You think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

You're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

You don't think Jeff's jokes are funny.

Your house has a kickstand.

You drive around a parking lot for fun.

Your girlfriend has ever called YOUR parents "Ma and Pa".

You have to duct tape your gloves on.

You've ever pruned your trees with a shotgun.

Someone says they spotted Bigfoot and you go buy tickets to the tractor pull.

You think that Marlboro is a cologne.


Page 14 of 23     «« Previous | Next »»