business jokes jokes

Lieberman's Law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter, because nobody listens.

Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law: 'n+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as 'n' trivial tasks.

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Manly's Maxim: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Mason's First Law of Synergism: The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.

May's Law: The quality of correlation is inversely proportional to the density of control. (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.)

Rhode's Corollary To Hoare's Law: Inside every complex and unworkable program is a useful routine struggling to be free.

Ross's Law: Bare feet magnetise sharp metal objects so they always point upwars from the floor-especially in the dark.

Rudin's Law: In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course.

Rudnicki's Nobel Prize Principle: Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it.

Rule Of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem it always helps you to know the answer.

Ryan's Law: Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.

Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in.

Source: Sunday Daily Breeze

Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine. It's only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail.

What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it's something much more economically debilitating - and permanent.

Three American lawyers have become the first foreign attorneys permitted to practice law in Japan. What's more, two of them are from New York!

The decline has begun.

Japan has one attorney for every 10,000 residents, compared to the U.S. ratio of one attorney for every 390 residents. For every 100 attorneys trained in Japan, there are 1,000 engineers. In the United States, that ratio is reversed.

But a law that became effective on April 1 permits foreigners to practice in Japan for the first time since 1955. Already, an additional 20 American and six British lawyers have applied for permission to open practices in Japan.

If anything can slow the Japanese economy, it's the presence of American attorneys. What better way to even our balance of trade than to send Japan our costliest surplus commodity?

All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.

All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney

All probabilities are really 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

All syllogisms have three parts; therefore this is not a syllogism.

All the world is a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

All things being equal, all things are never equal.

All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.