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funny insults


you're stupid 61
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Uses thumbtacks to post notes -- on his refrigerator.

Uses two hands to eat with chopsticks.

Using a 1S-2D floppy for brains in a world of hard disks.

Vacancy on the top floor.

Vacuuming linoleum using a deep-pile setting.

Vertically-fornicated mind.

Views mold as a higher life form.

Warranty expired.

Was born an acrobat but landed on his head.

Was born when the planets were misaligned.

Was first in line for brains, but ended up holding the door open.

Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

Was napping in the nut pile the day God was cracking nuts.

Wasn't abused as a child, but should have been.

Wasn't strapped in during launch.

collection 11
 
 
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant.

You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough.

If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.

You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along.

You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure.

You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.

At your speed, you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.

If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling -- in your skull?

you're stupid 15
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Couldn't find his way through a maze even if the rats helped him.

Couldn't hit sand if he fell off a camel.

Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if he were standing inside.

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Couldn't think/pee his way out of a paper bag.

Couldn't write dialog for a porno flick.

CPU is always in powersave mode.

CPU not connected to the bus.

Cranial cavity filled with neutronic matter. (Really dense.)

Cranio-rectally inverted.

Cunning as a dodo bird.

Cursor's flashing but there's no response.

Dealing with him is less fun than going to the dentist.

Dealing with him is one angst worse than a blind date.

Deep as her dimples / reflection in a mirror.

you're stupid 25
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



He demonstrates that beauty times brains is a constant.

He donated his brain to science but they made an early withdrawal.

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

He knows computers... He's not fit for contact with humans.

He writes blank checks on a closed account.

He'd be in big trouble if his wristwatch broke and he had to

He'd screw up a two-car funeral procession.

He's a General Protection Fault trigger.

He's a man on a mission, but can't find his dossier.

He's diagnosable.

He's not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.

He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.

He's so dense, light bends around him.

He's so dense, the Titanic wouldn't sink in his head.

Hears everything that a dog can.


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