funny insults jokes

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funny insults


you're stupid 32
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



His watch dog is sleeping.

His wisdom is stolen from bumper-stickers and T-shirts.

Hitler's evil twin.

Hyperspatially interconnected / permanently disconnected neural net.

Hypnotized as a child and couldn't be woken.

I'd like to buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth.

If brains were bird droppings, he'd have a clean cage.

If brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose / her hat off / the wax out of her ears.

If brains were gasoline, he wouldn't have enough to drive a dinky car around the inside of a cheerio.

If brains were grains of sand, he couldn't fill a dixie cup.

If brains were lard, he'd be hard pressed to grease a small pan.

If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

If brains were water, hers wouldn't be enough to baptize a flea.

If God tried to help him, we'd have an eight day week.

If he donated his brain to science it'd set civilization back 50 years.

you're stupid 33
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



If he gets any denser, the geocentric theory of the universe will come true.

If he had a lobotomy he'd depressurize.

If he had another brain, it would be lonely.

If he had brains, he'd take them out and play with them.

If he had console lights, we would see only the idle loop patterns.

If he were any brighter he'd be in the visible spectrum.

If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

If her brains were put in a hummingbird, it would fly backwards.

If his brain were a hard drive, it would back up on a single floppy.

If his brains were money, he'd still be in debt.

If his IQ was two points higher he'd be a rock.

If ignorance were bliss, she'd be orgasmic.

If it's not in his horoscope/tea leaves, he doesn't take it seriously.

If she had a disk we could upgrade her with DOS 3.0.

If she was any dumber, she'd be a green plant.

you're stupid 42
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Not only rude, but ugly too.

Not playing with / dealing from a full deck (-- not even in the game).

Not running on full thrusters.

Not shooting pool on a level table.

Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree / light in the harbor.

Not the full quid.

Not the same since they took him off his medication.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer / tool in the shed.

Not Turing equivalent.

Not wrapped too tight.

Nothing between the stethoscopes.

Nothing on her radar.

Numb as a post / pounded thumb.

Number 'n a hake. (New England expression; a notoriously stupid fish.)

Nutty as a fruitcake.

you're stupid 46
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



One song short of a musical.

One span short of a bridge.

One step short of the attic.

One strawberry short of a quart.

One strike past being called out.

One sub short of a party platter.

One taco/enchilada short of a combination plate.

One teabag short of a pot.

One tower short of a castle.

One tree short of a hammock.

One vine short of the tree. (For Tarzan types.)

One weight short of a shipwreck.

Only one oar in the water.

Only playing with 51 cards.

Only playing with the jokers.


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