you're stupid 30
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.
His home planet is flat.
His IQ is a false positive.
His jack can't get the car off the ground.
His mind is a few Hertz off its assigned frequency.
His mind is great at error magnification.
His mind is less substantial than the Emperor's new clothes.
His mind is on vacation but his mouth is working overtime.
His mind is write-protected/write-only.
His mind reached escape velocity and achieved orbit.
His mind wandered and never came back.
His motto is: Space, the final frontier.
His mouth rarely makes calls to his brain.
His outgoing message starts with, "Hello, Mr. Answering Machine."
His page was intentionally left blank.
His picture is in the dictionary under "zero".
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His home planet is flat.
His IQ is a false positive.
His jack can't get the car off the ground.
His mind is a few Hertz off its assigned frequency.
His mind is great at error magnification.
His mind is less substantial than the Emperor's new clothes.
His mind is on vacation but his mouth is working overtime.
His mind is write-protected/write-only.
His mind reached escape velocity and achieved orbit.
His mind wandered and never came back.
His motto is: Space, the final frontier.
His mouth rarely makes calls to his brain.
His outgoing message starts with, "Hello, Mr. Answering Machine."
His page was intentionally left blank.
His picture is in the dictionary under "zero".
you're stupid 50
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.
Reads Homer in the original Greek, but doesn't know Greek.
Ready to check in at the HaHa Hilton.
Ready to join the Anti-Mensa Society.
Receiver is off the hook.
Relatively three-dimensional, as fictional characters go.
Renewable energy source for hot air balloons.
Reposts this list when someone asks for it, but it's an old copy.
Reset line is glitching.
Result of a first cousin marriage.
Result of God's experiments to see if humans can function without a brain.
Room for rent, unfurnished.
RS232C brain with a DIN connector.
Running at 300 baud.
Running on a 286.
Running open. (Old mechanical teletype term.)
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Reads Homer in the original Greek, but doesn't know Greek.
Ready to check in at the HaHa Hilton.
Ready to join the Anti-Mensa Society.
Receiver is off the hook.
Relatively three-dimensional, as fictional characters go.
Renewable energy source for hot air balloons.
Reposts this list when someone asks for it, but it's an old copy.
Reset line is glitching.
Result of a first cousin marriage.
Result of God's experiments to see if humans can function without a brain.
Room for rent, unfurnished.
RS232C brain with a DIN connector.
Running at 300 baud.
Running on a 286.
Running open. (Old mechanical teletype term.)
you're stupid 62
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.
Watches "Beavis and Butthead" to learn vocabulary.
Watching programs not listed in TV Guide.
We're all missing cards from our decks -- and different cards, too.
Went in for repairs but wasn't tightened with a torque wrench.
Went to the dentist to have his cranial cavity filled.
When he was compiled they forgot to #include [smarts.h]/[iq.h]/[charm.h].
When they handed out brains he got the short end of the stick.
When they said "drain", he thought they said "brain".
Whole lotta choppin', but no chips a flyin'.
Wise as the world is flat.
With one more neuron he'd have a synapse.
Won't eat eggs because he believes the "This is your brain" ads.
Would make an excellent illustration in a proctology textbook.
Wouldn't make any sense if she ever made sense.
Zero K memory
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Watches "Beavis and Butthead" to learn vocabulary.
Watching programs not listed in TV Guide.
We're all missing cards from our decks -- and different cards, too.
Went in for repairs but wasn't tightened with a torque wrench.
Went to the dentist to have his cranial cavity filled.
When he was compiled they forgot to #include [smarts.h]/[iq.h]/[charm.h].
When they handed out brains he got the short end of the stick.
When they said "drain", he thought they said "brain".
Whole lotta choppin', but no chips a flyin'.
Wise as the world is flat.
With one more neuron he'd have a synapse.
Won't eat eggs because he believes the "This is your brain" ads.
Would make an excellent illustration in a proctology textbook.
Wouldn't make any sense if she ever made sense.
Zero K memory
collection 11
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant.
You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough.
If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.
I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.
You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along.
You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure.
You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.
At your speed, you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.
If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling -- in your skull?
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You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough.
If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.
I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.
You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along.
You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure.
You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.
At your speed, you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.
If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling -- in your skull?
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