funny insults jokes

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funny insults


collection 17
 
 
I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub.

I heard you went to have your head examined, but the doctors found nothing there.

Don't get me wrong. I`m not trying to make a monkey out of you. I can`t take the credit.

This is no battle of wits between you and me. I never pick on an unarmed man.

Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.

Hey! I know what sign you were born under! RED LIGHT DISTRICT!

I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?

We think of you when we are lonely. Then we are content to be alone.

Hey, how come even though you are still alive your parents are in mourning for you?

I'd like to break the monotony; where's your weakest point?

The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?

I hear you are an officer. Your rank is -- just plain rank!

You say you are a West Pointer, but you look like an Irish Setter.

You are so fat that I hear you were arrested three times for jay-walking when all the time you were just standing on the corner waiting for the light to change.

Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic.

you're stupid 23
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Has all her bricks, but no cement holding them together.

Has an inferiority complex, but not a very good one.

Has an IQ one lower than it takes to grunt.

Has change for a seven dollar bill.

Has FINO (first in never out) memory.

Has his brain on cruise control again.

Has his solar panels aimed at the moon.

Has it floored in neutral.

Has no discretionary intellect.

Has no upper stage.

Has nothing to say, but delights in saying it.

Has only one chopstick in the chowmein.

Has resonance where others have brains.

Has signs on both ears saying "Space for Rent".

Has so few thoughts that when he free associates, it's like watching tennis.

you're stupid 26
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Hears more lyrics on records when they're played backwards.

Her access time approaches infinity.

Her ancestors came to this country looking for bananas.

Her blender doesn't go past "mix".

Her brain has a corrupted filesystem / someone needs to run fsck on her brain.

Her brain is more like a Rube Goldberg device than a computer.

Her cache is incoherent.

Her dentist went deaf from the drill's echoes.

Her dialing thumb must be broken.

Her ears serve the same function as holes in a dribble glass.

Her files are compressed 100%.

Her head needs a periodic whack on the side.

Her input pipe is broken.

Her interrupt handler hit a loop.

Her leads need resoldering.

you're stupid 18
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Driving with two wheels in the sand.

Dropped his second stage too soon.

Dumb as asphalt / dirt / a mud fence / a stump / a sack of hammers.

Dumber than a chicken / box of hair/rocks.

During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.

Ears are redirected to /dev/null.

Easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing.

Echoes between the ears.

Eight pawns short of a gambit.

Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor / penthouse.

Elevator goes all the way to the top but the door doesn't open.

Elevator is on the ground floor and he's pushing the Down button.

End of season sale at the cerebral department. -- Gareth Blackstock

Enjoys listening to telemarketers.

Enough sawdust between the ears to bed an elephant.


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