funny insults jokes

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funny insults


you're stupid 46
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



One song short of a musical.

One span short of a bridge.

One step short of the attic.

One strawberry short of a quart.

One strike past being called out.

One sub short of a party platter.

One taco/enchilada short of a combination plate.

One teabag short of a pot.

One tower short of a castle.

One tree short of a hammock.

One vine short of the tree. (For Tarzan types.)

One weight short of a shipwreck.

Only one oar in the water.

Only playing with 51 cards.

Only playing with the jokers.

you're stupid 49
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Posts empty articles to Usenet, and enjoys rereading them later.

Prefers three left turns to one right turn.

Pressure's up, but there's a slow leak somewhere.

Produces a zero-length core dump.

Proof God has a sense of humor.

Proof of Einstein's theory that there is no limit to human stupidity.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Put a lens in each ear and you've got a telescope.

Puts a finger in his ear so the draft through his head isn't annoying.

Putting his brain on the edge of a razor blade would be like putting a pea on a six lane highway.

Qualifies for the mental express line -- five thoughts or less. -- MacNelly

Quotes entire letters/articles as responses and hides her one line of wisdom in the middle.

Racing fifty yards with a pregnant woman, he'd come in third.

Reading from an empty/blank/unformatted disk.

Reads her newspaper back-to-front.

you're stupid 57
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



The two put together have an IQ over 150.

The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead.

There she sits, Finite State Automaton at its best.

There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet. -- Woody Allen

They must have done a clean boot on him.

Thick as a brick / whale omelette.

Thick as pig dung and twice as smelly.

Thinks "Private Enterprise" means owning a personal starship.

Thinks a permutation is a medical procedure.

Thinks at 5 baud.

Thinks cellular phones are carbon-based life forms.

Thinks E=MC^2 is a rap star.

Thinks everyone else is entitled to his opinion, like it or not.

thinks in lower case and types accordingly

Thinks like a boar hog looks at a wristwatch.

you're stupid 60
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Ugly as a warthog and half as smart.

Unclear which of Newton's three laws of motion keeps his ears apart.

Understands English as well as any parrot.

Used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Useful as a chocolate teapot.

Useful as a football bat.

Useful as a hip pocket on a T-shirt.

Useful as a kickstand on a horse.

Useful as a mint-flavored suppository.

Useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

Useful as dinosaur repellent.

Useful as tits on a bullfrog / bull / boar-hog.

Uses all three functional neurons for his best work.

Uses his head best for rolling Easter eggs.

Uses his head to keep the rain out of his neck.


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