funny insults jokes

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funny insults


collection 09
 
 
You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.

I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.

In the next life, you'll blaze a way for us.

You are master in your own house -- the doghouse!

When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.

You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one lifetime.

Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?

I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.

Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

Some day you will find yourself -- and wish that you hadn't.

People clap when they see you -- their hands over their eyes or ears.

Whatever is eating you -- must be suffering horribly.

you're stupid 24
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Has the attention span of an overripe grapefruit.

Has the brains of a house plant.

Has the Grand Canyon under the crew cut.

Has the IQ of a salad bar / an ice cube / three below houseplant.

Has the keen awareness of an ostrich in hiding.

Has the mental agility of a soap dish.

Has the personality of a snail on Valium.

Has the same talent as Dr. Doolittle.

Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

Hasn't caught on that X and Y are relative values.

Hasn't got all his china in the cupboard.

Hasn't got the brains God gave a cat.

Having a party in his head, but no one else is invited.

He can only type in upper case.

He can push but he can't pop.

you're stupid 06
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



A semitone flat on the high notes.

A square with only three sides.

A steering wheel / few bolts short of a Yugo.

A teapot with a cracked lid.

A titanic intellect... In a world full of icebergs.

A vacuum-tube brain in a microchip world.

A VGA card and a Herc monitor.

A victim of retroactive birth control.

A violin minus the bow.

A walking argument for birth control.

A wind-up clock without a key.

About half smart.

Afraid she'll void her warranty if she thinks too much.

Airhead / bubble-brain.

Aliens zapped him with stupidity ray -- twice.

collection 06
 
 
We hear you are a lady killer. They take one look at you and die of fright!!

We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven".

You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure.

I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

Is your name Amazon? You`re so wide at the mouth.

You are a man who always sticks by his convictions. You will remain a fool no matter how much you get ridiculed for it!

A dope you are and dope will remain.
Completely unlike cocaine.
You add to, not diminish, pain!

We know that you would go to the end of the world for us. But would you stay there?

Your family tree is good, but you are the sap.

We all spring from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.

It cost me five thousand dollars to look up your family history. A thousand to look it up and four thousand to hush it up.

Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.


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