funny insults jokes

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funny insults


you're stupid 10
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



As sharp as a sack full of wet mice. -- Foghorn Leghorn

As smart as a politician/lawyer is honest.

As smart as bait / an automatic email responder script.

As smart as Christie Brinkley is ugly.

As thick as champ. (Irish; champ is mostly mashed spuds and cabbage.)

As thick as two short planks / two half bricks.

As worn out as a cucumber in a convent.

Attic's a little dusty.

Back burners not fully operating.

Bad spot on the disk.

Baler done run out of twine.

Bandwidth limited.

Barney's his hero.

Bats have flown the belfry, and now he's all alone.

Bats in the belfry.

you're stupid 14
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Charming as a carbuncle.

Cheats when filling out opinion polls.

Cheezwiz for brains.

Chimney's clogged.

Clock doesn't have all its numbers.

Collects cards for Craig.

Communications with him is limited to ping.

Confused as a baby in a topless bar.

Consumes hard drugs as vitamins.

Contributes to collections like this one without searching first to see if their little gem is already listed.

Contributes to the population problem.

Could be considered a plant if he developed photrophic motility.

Could only be loved/missed if the minister read someone else's eulogy.

Couldn't balance a checkbook if Einstein helped.

Couldn't count to 21 if he were barefoot and without pants.

you're stupid 29
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



His brain could be the perfect dielectric.

His brain was sold separately and they were out of stock.

His brain would rattle around in a gnat's navel.

His buffer is full.

His clutch is slipping.

His data bus stops for red lights.

His deck has no face cards.

His elevator is stuck between floors.

His face is on a coin... On the edge.

His family wasn't dysfunctional until he arrived.

His freelist is empty.

His gene line isn't just dead, it's extinct.

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons. -- Robin Williams

His grey matter is brown / doesn't matter.

His head whistles in a cross wind.

you're stupid 41
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Not an idiot, but plays one in his life.

Not as dumb as he looks, but that would be impossible.

Not digging in the same ditch with the rest of us.

Not done evolving yet.

Not enough brain cells for the Prozac to be effective.

Not enough brains to get anywhere NEAR the gutter.

Not enough change to break a dollar/pound/deutschmark/yen.

Not enough sense to come in out of the rain.

Not enough sense to stay out in the rain. (Like a 60's flower child.)

Not firing on all four/six/eight cylinders.

Not firmly seated in the socket / screwed in tight.

Not hard-docked.

Not inflated to 90 PSI.

Not Intel Inside. (Or, given Pentium problems, just: Intel inside.)

Not much to show for four billion years of evolution.


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