funny insults jokes

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funny insults


you're stupid 49
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Posts empty articles to Usenet, and enjoys rereading them later.

Prefers three left turns to one right turn.

Pressure's up, but there's a slow leak somewhere.

Produces a zero-length core dump.

Proof God has a sense of humor.

Proof of Einstein's theory that there is no limit to human stupidity.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Put a lens in each ear and you've got a telescope.

Puts a finger in his ear so the draft through his head isn't annoying.

Putting his brain on the edge of a razor blade would be like putting a pea on a six lane highway.

Qualifies for the mental express line -- five thoughts or less. -- MacNelly

Quotes entire letters/articles as responses and hides her one line of wisdom in the middle.

Racing fifty yards with a pregnant woman, he'd come in third.

Reading from an empty/blank/unformatted disk.

Reads her newspaper back-to-front.

you're stupid 60
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Ugly as a warthog and half as smart.

Unclear which of Newton's three laws of motion keeps his ears apart.

Understands English as well as any parrot.

Used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Useful as a chocolate teapot.

Useful as a football bat.

Useful as a hip pocket on a T-shirt.

Useful as a kickstand on a horse.

Useful as a mint-flavored suppository.

Useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

Useful as dinosaur repellent.

Useful as tits on a bullfrog / bull / boar-hog.

Uses all three functional neurons for his best work.

Uses his head best for rolling Easter eggs.

Uses his head to keep the rain out of his neck.

you're stupid 61
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Uses thumbtacks to post notes -- on his refrigerator.

Uses two hands to eat with chopsticks.

Using a 1S-2D floppy for brains in a world of hard disks.

Vacancy on the top floor.

Vacuuming linoleum using a deep-pile setting.

Vertically-fornicated mind.

Views mold as a higher life form.

Warranty expired.

Was born an acrobat but landed on his head.

Was born when the planets were misaligned.

Was first in line for brains, but ended up holding the door open.

Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

Was napping in the nut pile the day God was cracking nuts.

Wasn't abused as a child, but should have been.

Wasn't strapped in during launch.

collection 11
 
 
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant.

You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough.

If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.

You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along.

You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure.

You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.

At your speed, you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.

If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling -- in your skull?


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