funny insults jokes

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funny insults


you're stupid 03
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



A few guppies short of an aquarium.

A few inches short of a foot/yard.

A few kernels short of an ear.

A few kopeks short of a ruble.

A few links shy of a chain.

A few measures short of a staff.

A few open splices.

A few peas short of a pod/casserole.

A few pickles short of a jar.

A few pies short of a holiday.

A few planes short of an Air Force / hangar.

A few points short of a polygon.

A few revisions behind.

A few sandwiches/apples/ants short of a picnic.

A few screws loose.

you're stupid 08
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



All wax and no wick.

Alphabetizes junk mail / T-shirts / canonical lists.

Always in the right place, but at the wrong time.

Always loses battles of wits because he's unarmed.

Always needs to have jokes explained.

Always sharpening his sleeping skills.

An 8080 in a 68000 environment.

An alligator. (All mouth, no ears.)

An Apple //e on UUCP.

An early example of the Peter Principle.

An ego like a black hole.

An example of how the dinosaurs survived for millions of years with walnut sized brains.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

An expert on the historical significance of cottage cheese.

An inch short and a stroke early.

you're stupid 16
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Defective hard drive / boot sector.

Dense as a London fog.

Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.

Differently clued. -- Dave Clark

Dock doesn't quite reach the water.

Does aerobics... in his head.

Does everything the hard way, like making love standing up in a hammock.

Doesn't adjust for leap years.

Doesn't consider his drive a slice unless it lands two fairways over.

Doesn't have a round in every chamber.

Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash / cups in the cupboard / groceries in the same bag.

Doesn't have all the dots on his dice / pens in her plotter.

Doesn't have both oars in the water -- can't even find the damn boat.

Doesn't have elastic in both of his socks.

you're stupid 20
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Fog rolled in the day he was born, and a bit of it never rolled out.

Folds ace plus red jack hand when playing blackjack.

Foreign substances float in his cranial fluids.

Forgot to pay his brain bill.

Found his marbles, but is playing jacks with them.

Four bits shy of a full DEC.

Four cents short of a nickel.

Full of wisdumb.

Full throttle, dry tank.

Fur coat and no knickers. (Scottish expression.)

Gasoline engine, diesel fuel.

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

Gavel doesn't quite hit the bench.

Gears grind/don't always mesh.

Gets her mail at an unknown zip code.


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