funny insults jokes

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funny insults


you're stupid 39
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



Missing a layer of insulation in his attic.

Monorail doesn't go all the way to Tomorrowland.

Mooring lines don't reach the dock.

More marbles in a spray-paint can than brains in his head.

Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral.

Moves his lips to pretend he's reading.

Must have ignored a knock-down pitch.

Nearly on a higher plane, but lost his boarding pass.

Needs another brain to make half-wit.

Needs both hands to wipe his behind.

Needs front end alignment.

Needs his disk checked/reformatted.

Needs his sleeves lengthened by a couple of feet so they can be tied in the back.

Network constantly loses packets.

Neurons are firing non-sequentially.

you're stupid 34
 
 
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.



If stupidity were a crime, he'd be number one on the Most Wanted list.

If the government ever declared war on stupidity, he'd get nuked.

If there were a merciful God he'd be dead by now.

If they each had half a brain, they'd still only have half a brain.

If they knock heads, implosion will suck all the air out of the room.

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

If you called him a wit, you'd be half right.

If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get change back.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

Ignorant, and proud of it.

Immune from any serious head injury.

Immune to caffeine and all other stimulants.

In a tub of Preparation H, he'd shrink down to thumb size.

In his optimum environment, he'd be locked in a life and death struggle with mushrooms.

In line for brains, thought they said pains, and said, "No, thanks".

collection 12
 
 
What's the latest dope -- besides you?

I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw, but all they got was a moving picture.

You don't believe in being artificial. You want people to hate you for yourself.

When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you can get salt in the wound.

Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot.

If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad.

You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.

I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief, and a cheat.

You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.

You have a face only a mother could love -- and she hates it!

You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light.

They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.

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