funny insults jokes

Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being.

You have nothing to fear from my base instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you.

It's your life -- but I wish you'd let us have it.

Hey, act your age -- senile!

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.

You're the best at all you do -- and all you do is make people hate you.

In the dictionary under the word, "stupid," it says, "see him."

We know you could not live without us. We'll pay for the funeral.

We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings.

Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?

The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.

When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.

A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.

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Running U.S. appliances on British current.

Runs squares around the competition.

Rusty springs in the mousetrap.

S p a c e d o u t .

Sailboat fuel for brains.

Sat under the ozone hole too long.

Sending back packets, but the checksums are wrong.

Serving donuts on another planet.

Settled some during shipping and handling.

Seven seconds behind, and built to stay that way.

Several nuts over fruitcake minimum.

Several nuts short of a full pouch.

Sharp, like stone in river. Swift, like tree through forest.

She only packed half a sandwich.

She only schedules zombie processes.

A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.

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Gets his orders from another planet.

Gets hypnotized on the de-spun section.

Gets parity errors under load.

Gives a lot of bull for somebody what ain't got no cattle.

Goalie for the dart team.

God might still use him for miracle practice.

God's favorite target for lightning strikes.

Goes with the flow... He's a bed wetter.

Good at quantum tunneling but not much else.

Got a life, but wasn't sure what to do with it.

Got his brains as a stocking stuffer.

Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

Guillotining him would make only an aesthetic difference.

Gyros are loose.

Habits explainable if he was raised by wolves.

A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.

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Thinks male zebras are the ones with the black stripes.

Three chickens short of a henhouse.

Three miracles shy of being where he thinks he's at.

Three-bag/coyote ugly. (Ask your mommy to explain.)

Throws his rod and reel off the bridge when casting.

Too dumb to be bothered when publically displaying her ignorance.

Too many birds on her antenna.

Too many jokers and not enough aces in his deck.

Too many stop bits in his transmissions.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

Too pointless to even be called a pinhead.

Took the little bus to school.

Top paddock is full of rocks.

Toys in the attic.

Train of thought derailed / still boarding at the station.