funny insults jokes

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funny insults

collection 06
We hear you are a lady killer. They take one look at you and die of fright!!

We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven".

You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure.

I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

Is your name Amazon? You`re so wide at the mouth.

You are a man who always sticks by his convictions. You will remain a fool no matter how much you get ridiculed for it!

A dope you are and dope will remain.
Completely unlike cocaine.
You add to, not diminish, pain!

We know that you would go to the end of the world for us. But would you stay there?

Your family tree is good, but you are the sap.

We all spring from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.

It cost me five thousand dollars to look up your family history. A thousand to look it up and four thousand to hush it up.

Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.

collection 14
I've hated your looks from the stare they gave me.

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

Moonlight becomes you -- total darkness even more!

Someone took a photo of you once, but it didn't turn out. You could be seen too clearly.

So you finally managed to get the last laugh [word]; a long time ago.

You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.

The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.

I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!

I hope you never get a tetanus shot; maybe you'll windup with lockjaw.

I you are in your right mind, I hope you go insane!

If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move?

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?

you're stupid 14
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.

Charming as a carbuncle.

Cheats when filling out opinion polls.

Cheezwiz for brains.

Chimney's clogged.

Clock doesn't have all its numbers.

Collects cards for Craig.

Communications with him is limited to ping.

Confused as a baby in a topless bar.

Consumes hard drugs as vitamins.

Contributes to collections like this one without searching first to see if their little gem is already listed.

Contributes to the population problem.

Could be considered a plant if he developed photrophic motility.

Could only be loved/missed if the minister read someone else's eulogy.

Couldn't balance a checkbook if Einstein helped.

Couldn't count to 21 if he were barefoot and without pants.

you're stupid 29
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.

His brain could be the perfect dielectric.

His brain was sold separately and they were out of stock.

His brain would rattle around in a gnat's navel.

His buffer is full.

His clutch is slipping.

His data bus stops for red lights.

His deck has no face cards.

His elevator is stuck between floors.

His face is on a coin... On the edge.

His family wasn't dysfunctional until he arrived.

His freelist is empty.

His gene line isn't just dead, it's extinct.

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons. -- Robin Williams

His grey matter is brown / doesn't matter.

His head whistles in a cross wind.

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