animal jokes for kids jokes

Q: What kind of money to polo bears use?
A: Ice lolly!

Q: Have you ever hunted bear?
A: No, but I've been shooting in my shorts!

Q: How do you start a teddy bear race?
A: Ready, teddy, go!

Q: What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A: A bear faced lyre!

Q: Why do bears have fur coats?
A: Because they'd look stupid in anoraks!

Q: What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A: A teddy boar!

Q: What should you call a bald teddy?
A: Fred bear!

Q: What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?
A: A little bear!

Q: What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown?
A: Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin!

Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the Pooh!

Q: How do you hire a teddy bear?
A: Put him on stilts!

Q: What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A: A polo bear!

Q: Why do polo bears like bald men?
A: Because they have a great, white, bear place!

Q: What do polo bears have for lunch?
A: Ice burger!

Q: What's a teddy bears favorite pasta?
A: Tagliateddy!

Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
A: They both have 'the' as their middle names!

Q: Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet?
A: It lives on ice!

Q: Why shouldn't you take a bear to the zoo?
A: Because they'd rather go to the cinema!

Q: What is a bear's favorite drink?
A: Koka-Koala!

Q: Why was the little bear so spoiled?
A: Because its mother panda'd to its every whim!

Where would you put an injured insect?
In an antbulance!

What's an insects best chat up line?
Pardon me, but is this stool taken!

What has four wheels and flies?
A rubbish bin!

What happened to the man who turned into an insect?
He just beetled off!

What is green and brown, has four legs and can kill you if it falls out of a tree and lands on you?
A pool table?
What lives in gum trees?
Stick insects!

How do we know that insects are so clever?
Because they always know when your eating outside!

What is the insect's favorite game?
Cricket!

What do you call an ant who lives with your great uncle?
Your great-ant!

Who was the most famous ant scientist?
Albert Antstein!

What games to ants play with elephants?
Squash!

What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An antique!

What kind of ant can you colour with?
A crayant!

Who is the most famous French ant?
Napoleant!

Why did the ant-elope?
Nobody gnu!

What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant!

Why don't anteaters get sick?
Because they are full of antibodies!

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
An independant!