redneck jokes jokes

You might be a reneck if...

You have to check your coke can before you take a drink just in case you have mistaken it for your spit can.

You have accidentally taken a drink from your spit can.

Your wife asks you what you want to be when you grow up.

You see a forest fire and think 'Bar-bee-Q'.

You've ever strained your tea through a flyswatter.

Your mother is hairier than your father.

Instead of flossing you use a plunger.

You take the back window out of your pickup because it's easier to chuck the empty beer cans in the back that way.

When the back fills up with empty beer cans, you get another pickup and start all over again.

Your grandma can bench press a ruck axle.

You might be a reneck if...

You can identify your friends by the sound of their mufflers.

You think OFF is a fine smelling cologne.

You put a Clapper on your headlights.

You need a dictionary to spell your name.

You don't change your socks until the first pair rots off.

People ask your wife when her baby's due and she's not pregnant.

Your driveway is two tire tracks with grass growing down the middle.

You've ever invited friends over to show off what's left of the squirrel that you shot with your deer gun.

You have more tires in your yard than on your trucks.

The idea for the Budweiser frogs came from listening to you and your friends trying to read the label on the bottle.

You might be a redneck if...

You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin' dog.

You're an expert on worm beds.

The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"

Your family tree does not fork.

The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.

You haul more than U-Haul.

Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"

There is a gun rack on your bicycle.

Your wedding was held in the delivery room.

You might be a redneck if...

Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".

You've ever hitchhiked naked.

You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.

Your bumper sticker says, "My other car is a combine."

The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.

The highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.