joke collection 28
Q: How many AnTir-folk does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but the new bulb had better be a halogen fog lamp!
Q: How many Atlantians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That depends, which household does it belong to?
Q: How many Dune Coons does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: Three - one to hold the bulb and two to turn the stool, but they need a foreign adviser to tell them it was burned out.
Note: I presume a "Dune Coon" means a 3rd world peasant.)
Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
Note: "Supply-siders" were the force behind Reagan's early reforms, and their economic theories were just like those of Thatcher (only the Thatcherites were more extreme). They believed that if they shifted the focus of government economic policy to stimulating supply rather than demand, the business cycle would be stopped at an agreeable point and inflation would be permanently whipped. Obviously, it didn't quite work out that way.)
Q: How many Ann Arborites does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just start a "Coping With Darkness" support group.
Note: Ann Arbor is a where, not a who. It's the home of the University of Michigan, which has a fairly liberal reputation.)
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A: Just one, but the new bulb had better be a halogen fog lamp!
Q: How many Atlantians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That depends, which household does it belong to?
Q: How many Dune Coons does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: Three - one to hold the bulb and two to turn the stool, but they need a foreign adviser to tell them it was burned out.
Note: I presume a "Dune Coon" means a 3rd world peasant.)
Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
Note: "Supply-siders" were the force behind Reagan's early reforms, and their economic theories were just like those of Thatcher (only the Thatcherites were more extreme). They believed that if they shifted the focus of government economic policy to stimulating supply rather than demand, the business cycle would be stopped at an agreeable point and inflation would be permanently whipped. Obviously, it didn't quite work out that way.)
Q: How many Ann Arborites does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just start a "Coping With Darkness" support group.
Note: Ann Arbor is a where, not a who. It's the home of the University of Michigan, which has a fairly liberal reputation.)
joke collection 38
Q: How many Daleks does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: 1,500,000: To conquer a race than can climb ladders for them.
Q: How many people of the anti-matter Universe does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Minus 2. -1 to change the bulb, -1 to have a fight with Captain Kirk.
Q: How many Minbari does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A: None. They never finish the job and they refuse to tell you why.
Q: How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to stand on a chair and change it and one to say "I wish I was up there !"
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A finite number F. One to change it and F-1 to act in a stereotypical manner according to the part they're playing (See the formula @ the start.)
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
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A: 1,500,000: To conquer a race than can climb ladders for them.
Q: How many people of the anti-matter Universe does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Minus 2. -1 to change the bulb, -1 to have a fight with Captain Kirk.
Q: How many Minbari does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A: None. They never finish the job and they refuse to tell you why.
Q: How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to stand on a chair and change it and one to say "I wish I was up there !"
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A finite number F. One to change it and F-1 to act in a stereotypical manner according to the part they're playing (See the formula @ the start.)
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
joke collection 85
Q: How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two--one to screw it in, and a second to hand out leaflets.
Q: How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes him about 30 years to realize that the old one has burnt out.
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the seeds of revolution and change are within the lightbulb itself.
Q: How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
Q: How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes him seven weeks to get there.
Note: topical to the Falkland Islands war.
Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10,000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution.
Q: How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they can all see by the light at the end of the tunnel.
Q: How many Maoists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to screw in the bulb and a thousand to chant "Fight Darkness!"
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A: Two--one to screw it in, and a second to hand out leaflets.
Q: How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes him about 30 years to realize that the old one has burnt out.
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the seeds of revolution and change are within the lightbulb itself.
Q: How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
Q: How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes him seven weeks to get there.
Note: topical to the Falkland Islands war.
Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10,000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution.
Q: How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they can all see by the light at the end of the tunnel.
Q: How many Maoists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to screw in the bulb and a thousand to chant "Fight Darkness!"
joke collection 59
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One, but only after asking "Why?"
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They have a machine that does that now.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to screw it in and one to complain that it is electrified.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Three, one to do it and two to argue about whether that was the way Bill Monroe would have done it.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter because the banjo player is gonna' change it again anyway after everybody else is done.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: They don't. They only use acoustic light bulbs.
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A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One, but only after asking "Why?"
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They have a machine that does that now.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to screw it in and one to complain that it is electrified.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Three, one to do it and two to argue about whether that was the way Bill Monroe would have done it.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter because the banjo player is gonna' change it again anyway after everybody else is done.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: They don't. They only use acoustic light bulbs.
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