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light bulb jokes


joke collection 104
 
 
Q: How many members of the Impossible Missions Force does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five: While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress, I use a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and remove his body. Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the dictator long enough for Barney to sneak up to the next floor, drill a hole down into the light fixture, remove the burned-out bulb, and replace it with a new super-high wattage model of his own design. Meanwhile, Willie has driven up to the door in a laundry truck. Just before Rollin's real identity is revealed, we escape to the laundry truck, drive to the airfield, and return to the United States.

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Zero. We have the housekeeping staff do it for us.

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Please let us know!

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That depends; what color is the bulb?

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It all depends on whether they can read the manuals or not. That needs to be in there somewhere as a qualifier!

joke collection 05
 
 
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.

Q: How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Will somebody please call house-keeping?

Q: How many house-keeping staff does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You know I only get paid $5 an hour to do this, and I don't know why I always have to do everybody else's work anyway.

Q: How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They would wait for a suitable donor and do a filament transplant.

Q: How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. They'd also like to remove the socket as you aren't using it now.

Q: How many orthopedic surgeons does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Why don't you just let us take out the socket ? You aren't using it anyway, and it will only cause you trouble later.

Q: How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Only one, but it takes nine visits.

joke collection 11
 
 
Q: How many field service engineers does it take to replace a dead light bulb?
A: Who can tell. Field service engineers are always in the dark.

Q: How many field service engineers does it take to replace a dead light bulb?
A: None. They just have marketing portray the dead bulb as a feature.

Q: How many field service engineers does it take to replace a dead light bulb?
A: 2. One to hold the bulb and one to pound it in (etc)

Q: How many field service engineers does it take to replace a dead light bulb?
A: Well, the diagnostics all check out fine, so it's a software problem.

Q: How many field service engineers does it take to replace a dead light bulb?
A: None: "We'll fix it in software."

Q: How long will it take?
A: That's indeterminate. It depends on how many dead bulbs they've brought with them.

joke collection 24
 
 
Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.

Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy so...

Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: A hundred, but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.

Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you ? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.

Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Huh? The light's out?

Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: What lightbulb?

Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None: They concern themselves with inner light.

Q: How many Arians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.


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