joke collection 59
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One, but only after asking "Why?"
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They have a machine that does that now.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to screw it in and one to complain that it is electrified.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Three, one to do it and two to argue about whether that was the way Bill Monroe would have done it.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter because the banjo player is gonna' change it again anyway after everybody else is done.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: They don't. They only use acoustic light bulbs.
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A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One, but only after asking "Why?"
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They have a machine that does that now.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to screw it in and one to complain that it is electrified.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Three, one to do it and two to argue about whether that was the way Bill Monroe would have done it.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter because the banjo player is gonna' change it again anyway after everybody else is done.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: They don't. They only use acoustic light bulbs.
joke collection 63
Q: How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Six. One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.
Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, it only takes one person to use a hammer.
Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three, one to change the bulb, one to take care of the sheep, and one to observe and try to think why he isn't tending to the sheep's needs.
Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to drive their home to the hardware store and one to buy the bulb and screw it in.
Q: How many Norwegians does is take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to screw in the bulb and one to tell a long story about it...
Q: How many public opinion researchers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: With what degree of certainty do you need to know?
Q: How many Greenpeace researchers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to put in the new one and one to recycle the old one.
Q: How many Green Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they use light bulbs which don't burn out, so they don't know how.
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A: Six. One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.
Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, it only takes one person to use a hammer.
Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three, one to change the bulb, one to take care of the sheep, and one to observe and try to think why he isn't tending to the sheep's needs.
Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to drive their home to the hardware store and one to buy the bulb and screw it in.
Q: How many Norwegians does is take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to screw in the bulb and one to tell a long story about it...
Q: How many public opinion researchers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: With what degree of certainty do you need to know?
Q: How many Greenpeace researchers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to put in the new one and one to recycle the old one.
Q: How many Green Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they use light bulbs which don't burn out, so they don't know how.
joke collection 66
Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: "We'll document it in the manual."
Q: How many C programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they forgot to declare it first.
Q: How long does it take a C programmer to screw in a light bulb?
A: 24 hours--3 minutes to put in the bulb, the rest of the time to compile all the libraries...
Q: How many FORTRAN programs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1.00000000001
Q: How many BASIC programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10 push bulb upwards:twist bulb clockwise 20 goto 10
Q: How many games machine programmers does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A: One, but he needs the seal of approval from Nintendo before he can put his light-bulb in THEIR socket.
Q: How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: False.
Q: How many neural nets does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: f'(x) = delta Sum log (HOUSE) / d(HOUSE)
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A: None: "We'll document it in the manual."
Q: How many C programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they forgot to declare it first.
Q: How long does it take a C programmer to screw in a light bulb?
A: 24 hours--3 minutes to put in the bulb, the rest of the time to compile all the libraries...
Q: How many FORTRAN programs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1.00000000001
Q: How many BASIC programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10 push bulb upwards:twist bulb clockwise 20 goto 10
Q: How many games machine programmers does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A: One, but he needs the seal of approval from Nintendo before he can put his light-bulb in THEIR socket.
Q: How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: False.
Q: How many neural nets does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: f'(x) = delta Sum log (HOUSE) / d(HOUSE)
joke collection 80
Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to give the order that the bulb be changed and one to screw it in.
Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They assign the task to a gastarbeiter.
Q: How many Argentinians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nine thousand-after all, it's *their* light bulb.
Q: How many Belgians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.
Q: How many U.S fighter pilots does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: No! You mean it was one of ours?!
Notes : Topical to the shooting down of two allied helicopters over Iraq.
Q: How many Iraqi soldiers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One. He takes it back to Baghdad for safe keeping.....
Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity anymore.
Q: How many West Virginians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they don't have Eeeeelextrisssity in West Virginia.
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A: Two, one to give the order that the bulb be changed and one to screw it in.
Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They assign the task to a gastarbeiter.
Q: How many Argentinians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nine thousand-after all, it's *their* light bulb.
Q: How many Belgians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.
Q: How many U.S fighter pilots does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: No! You mean it was one of ours?!
Notes : Topical to the shooting down of two allied helicopters over Iraq.
Q: How many Iraqi soldiers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One. He takes it back to Baghdad for safe keeping.....
Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity anymore.
Q: How many West Virginians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they don't have Eeeeelextrisssity in West Virginia.
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