Anti Joke jokes

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Anti Joke


4th and goal
 
 
Q:What's funnier than kicking a zombie baby wide left from the 10 yard line?

A: Running it in for a touchdown and spiking it in the ground only to have it stand up and chase after you with grass in its mouth, making donkey noises.

why did the zombie baby cross the road?
 
 
Why did the zombie baby cross the road?

To wreak an unholy vengeance upon the driver of the car who's standing there, scratching his head, trying to figure out how a zombie baby's head can be beneath his car tires but the rest of the body is nowhere to be seen-- unless he were to turn around and notice the zombie baby body bearing down on him, coming ever closer, ready with grasping, pudgy zombie baby fingers to tear and rend at the flesh of this self-same driver who ran his head over, on the dark and rain-swept road that snakes down from the castle of the madman who's creating an army of zombie babies to do his dark, libidinal bidding.

a cat, a plant, and sea monkeys
 
 
What do a cat, plant, and sea monkeys have in common?

All three have endured tragic deaths of neglect at my apathetic hands!

a kangaroo walks into a bar. he tells the...
 
 
A kangaroo walks into a bar. He tells the bartender, "Blood is the lipstick of all wounds."

The bartender does not know how he said this, or why.


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