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scary jokes

scary collection 06
A witch joke
What has handles and flies?
A witch in a dustbin!

A cannibal joke
Why don't cannibals eat weathermen?
Because they give them wind!

A witch joke
What is evil and ugly and bounces?
A witch on a trampoline!

A Halloween joke
What do stupid kids do at Halloween?
They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins!

A witch joke
Why did the witch put her broom in the wash?
She wanted a clean sweep!

A ghost joke
What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains?
Boo-ts and ghoul-oshes!

A vampire joke
How does a vampire like his food served?
In bite sized pieces!

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A cannibal joke
What do pygmy cannibals eat for breakfast?
Weedie Bix!


A ghost joke
Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?
Because their daddies were mummies!

A cannibal joke
What happened when the cannibal crossed the Atlantic on the QE2?
He told the waiter to take the menu away and bring him the passenger list!

A ghost joke
Where do ghosts live?
In dread-sitters!

A ghost joke
How do you know if your being haunted by a parrot?
He keeps going "ooo's a pretty boy then"!

A vampire joke
What did the vampire say to the wolfman?
You look like your going to the dogs!

A vampire joke
What's the difference between a vampire and a biscuit?
You don't know?
Well don't try dunking a vampire in your tea!

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A wizard joke
What's the first thing that a wizard does in the morning?
He wakes up!

A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard who's black and blue all over?

A witch joke
Why do witches wear pointy black hats?
To keep their heads warm!

A wizard joke
What did the wizard say to his witch girlfriend?
Hello gore-juice!

A wizard joke
What do you get if you cross a river with an inflatable wizard?
To the other side!

A wizard joke
What do wizards stop for on the motorway?

A wizard joke
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a wizard?
Tyrannosaurus hex!

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A witch joke
What do you get if you cross a witches cat with Father Christmas?
Santa Claws!

A witch joke
What do you call it when a witches cat falls off a broomstick?
A catastrophe!

A witch joke
Why are black cats such good singers?
They're very mewsical!

A wizard joke
Who did the wizard marry?
His ghoul-friend!

A wizard joke
Why did the wizard where red, white and blue braces?
To keep his trousers up!

A witch joke
Why is a witches face like a million dollars?
It's all green and wrinkly!

A witch joke
How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the "w"!

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