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scary jokes


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A cannibal joke
What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!

A cannibal joke
What do you call a massive witch doctor?
Mumbo jumbo!

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire give up acting?
He couldn't get his teeth into the part!

A skeleton joke
What do you call a skeleton who won't get up in the mornings?
Lazy bones!

A werewolf joke
Why are werewolvse thought of as quick witted?
Because they always give snappy answers!

A witch joke
How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one?
By her suntan!

A werewolf joke
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!

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A vampire joke
Why did the vampire go to hospital?
He wanted his ghoulstones removed!

A ghost joke
Where do ghosts live?
In a terrortory!

A ghost joke
What is a ghost proof cycle?
One with no spooks in it!

A ghost joke
What do you call a ghost who stays out all night?
A fresh air freak!

A skeleton joke
What happened to the skeleton who was swallowed by a big fish?
He had a whale of a time!

A ghost joke
What do young ghouls write their homework in?
Exorcise books!

A ghost joke
What happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over!

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A witch joke
Why did the witch join the football club?
Because she heard they were looking for a new sweeper!

A witch joke
What do you call a witch that climbs up walls?
Ivy!

A witch joke
Why was the witch late for the party?
She'd lost her witch-watch!

A witch joke
What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?
The producer said that she had the perfect face for radio!

A witch joke
What do you call a witch with one leg?
Eileen!

A witch joke
What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites?
Don't bite any witches!

A witch joke
What should you expect if you drop in on a witches home unexpectedly?
Pot luck!

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A Halloween joke
Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing?
Because they're crab apples!

A vampire joke
What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A blood hound!

A ghost joke
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!

A demon joke
What do you call a demon who slurps his food?
A goblin!

A ghost joke
What do you have to take to become a coroner?
A stiff exam!

A cannibal joke
What does a cannibal eat with cheese?
Pickled organs!

A cannibal joke
What did the cannibal say when he was full?
''I couldn't eat another mortal!''


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