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scary jokes


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A vampire joke
What does a vampire say to the mirror?
Terror, terror on the wall...!

A skeleton joke
How do skeletons call their friends?
On the telebone!

A skeleton joke
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin!

A werewolf joke
Mummy, mummy what's a werewolf?
Be quiet and brush your face!

A werewolf joke
What parting gift did the werewolf parents give to their son when he left home?
A comb!

A witch joke
What is evil, ugly and goes at 125 mph?
A witch on a high speed train!

A skeleton joke
What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument?
A trom-bone!

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A ghost joke
What do ghosts have in the seats of their cars?
Sheet belts!

A ghost joke
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!

A cannibal joke
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?
He said ''So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses!

A cannibal joke
Why would the cannibal only eat babies?
He was on a diet!

A ghost joke
Where do ghosts go on holiday?
The Ghosta Brava!

A vampire joke
Why wouldn't the vampire eat his soup?
It clotted!

A skeleton joke
Why did the skeleton run up a tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!

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A vampire joke
What happened to the mad vampire?
He went a little batty!

A demon joke
What is the best way to get rid of a demon?
Exorcise a lot!

A ghost joke
What kind of jewels to ghosts wear?
Tombstones!

A demon joke
Why do demons and ghouls get on so well?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

A vampire joke
Where do vampires go on holiday?
The Isle of Fright!

A vampire joke
What's a vampire's favourite soup?
Sharks' fang soup!

A vampire joke
Which vampire ate the three bears porridge?
Ghouldilocks!

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A witch joke
What do you call a witch you likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A chicken sandwitch!

A witch joke
Why did the witches go on strike?
They wanted sweeping reforms!

A witch joke
When a witch falls into a pond what is the first thing that she does?
Get wet!

A witch joke
What did the witch say to the ugly toad?
"I'd put a curse on you but it looks like someone already beat me to it"!

A wizard joke
What do you call a warlock who tries to stop fights?
A peacelock!

A wizard joke
What kinds of wizards can jump higher than a bus?
All of them, busses don't jump!

A wizard joke
What happened when the wizard drank a bottle of lemonade?
He burped 7-Up!


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